I went down to take a shower and wash the salt off my body and out of my hair while he spoke with the man who was caretaker for the boat. Wrapped in a large towel, I came out and sat at the vanity table in the master bedroom, where I brushed out my hair. I saw him come down the stairs and stand for a moment watching me. He approached slowly, took the brush from me, and started to brush my hair. Neither of us spoke.
Then he stopped and leaned to bring his lips to my neck. The tingle that went down my spine seemed to form into fingers that sent a warmth over me. He held my shoulders and then slowly lifted me until I turned to accept his kiss. I felt the towel slip away from my body. Like someone trying to resist, he kept his eyes on mine, and then his hands moved over my breasts and down around my waist as he drew me into another kiss. My resistance softened. He whispered my name and told me how beautiful I was. I thought I had said, “No, please stop,” but perhaps it was only in my imagination. He didn’t appear to hear or sense any restraint. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me to the bed, covering my body quickly in kisses, his lips moving lower and lower.
I mustn’t let this happen, I thought. I even pictured myself standing at the side of the bed and shaking my head, but I only weakened more and closed my eyes. His lips were on mine again, his body naked and firm against me.
And then, like a streak of lightning across my eyes, I saw Ignacio’s face.
Back in Mexico, he had stood with me at the bus door until the driver said it was absolutely time to go.
“Don’t go rushing into another marriage before I get back,” he had said.
“I won’t,” I had promised.
“I will cross again, Delia, even if I have to battle the desert to get to you.”
“I’ll be waiting,” I had said, and we had kissed.
“Wait!” I cried suddenly. “Please.” Adan paused and lifted his head to look down at me.
“I really like you, Delia. You can trust me,” he said. “I know you have not had good experiences with men, but I am different. I promise.”
I took a deep breath, gathering my wits. I should have told him about Ignacio then and there, but instead, like some frightened young girl, I said, “Please, wait.”
He smiled. “Sure,” he said. “I understand. I can be patient, because I know how wonderful you are and what lies at the end of the rainbow.”
Recoiling himself like the anchor he had pulled up from the sea, he sat back, took a deep breath, smiled, and said, “I’m taking a cold shower.”
He went into the stall, and I quickly hurried to put on my clothes. Since he didn’t force himself on me and try to persuade me to end any resistance, he was surely a good man, I told myself. I felt bad, and when he came out of the shower, I tried to be as pleasant and affectionate as I could. He dressed for our dinner, and we walked off the boat to the restaurant, where he had reserved a table that looked out on the ocean. We had a wonderful dinner, neither of us talking about what had just almost happened.
Later, the full day in the sun, the champagne, the food, all of it, finally caught up with me. I fell asleep during our ride back to Palm Springs and woke with a start when we were on the main street. He laughed, and I apologized.
“It’s okay. I liked watching you sleep, Delia. You look like an angel.”
From where did he get all these wonderful lines? I hoped they were sincere and from his heart and not some book instructing him how to win the love of a young woman.
It was late when we arrived. Mi tía Isabela’s hacienda was very quiet. I remembered that she had told me she would not see me until late breakfast in the morning. Adan walked me to the door, where we kissed good night, and I thanked him for a most wonderful day.
“No,” he said. “It is I who thank you for the day. Nothing I have brings as much pleasure without you. You make it all complete, Delia. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
His words took the breath from me, and I could only nod, kiss him again, and go inside. When I closed the door behind me, I juggled mixed feelings in my heart and mind. In one sense, I felt as if I had escaped making a commitment I would regret, and in another sense, I felt guilty for letting Adan believe I was just asking him to move slower.
Was I becoming more like mi tía Isabela than I would like? Was I lying to myself, using people, being unfaithful to the things that were true and important? Was it because I lived in this house and had this new life? Had the old Delia slipped away? Did I really leave her behind at that bus station? Was I fooling myself in thinking otherwise?
A day like this should fill a heart with only joy, not more turmoil and trouble, I thought. I should not be feeling so sad. I plodded up the stairway with my back bent and my head lowered, as if I were carrying a weight on my shoulders. I thought I would fall asleep before I could brush my teeth. I had just prepared my bed and was about to get into it when Sophia opened my door. She had obviously just come home herself.
“Well, I’m sure I don’t have to ask you if you had a good time,” she said when I turned.
“I did,” I said. I wasn’t in any mood to argue with her or trade insults, so I continued to slip into my bed and pull my light blanket up as I adjusted my pillow. “I’m very tired, Sophia. Let’s talk in the morning.”
“Oh, I’m not here for a long conversation, Delia. Don’t worry. Christian and I had an interesting day, too, and I thought you’d like to hear about it. Just close your eyes and listen, if you like.”
“Please, in the morning,” I said.
She came farther into the room. “So, we went to that park where all the Mexican kids go to play ball, you know, and watched some baseball game. That Davila boy is a good baseball player.”
I opened my eyes.
“Got your attention? Good. Yes, he hit a home run, and he was the pitcher on the team, too. Afterward, they have a picnic. The young boys sneak some, what do you call it, cerveza? Boy, what’s his name, Santos? He can put it away. He outdrank Christian the big shot. Not me, of course. I don’t drink cerveza.”