“You’re missing something the rest of us have. It’s a kind of hunger, a driving desire, a need that makes you harder, sharper, and more self-confident. Daddy thinks, hopes, you’ll grow into it, that perhaps I’ll inspire you, but I have grave doubts, and Daddy has grown to trust my instincts. You think he’ll ever feel comfortable trusting yours?” She looked at herself again with pleasure. “I doubt it,” she muttered.
“You never really liked me, did you, Ava?” I asked. “All that time we recently spent together was just part of some plan, wasn’t it?”
“Don’t be juvenile. This has nothing to do with whether or not I like you, and whether or not I like you has nothing to do with what must be, anyway. It’s not me you have to please. It’s Daddy and Mrs. Fennel, and whether you feel it or not right now, you have to please yourself, too. I must admit,” she added after a pause, “Marla is certainly growing more and more pleased with herself. I’m actually a little jealous of her, and I never thought I’d be jealous of anyone, ever.”
“Where did you take her today when you took her from school?”
“Why? Are you suddenly feeling jealous, too?”
“Maybe.”
She laughed. “That’s good. Maybe there is hope for you. I took her down to Laguna Beach to let her get the taste of beach boys. She was quite a hit. I had to pull them away. I was very impressed with how mature she acted. It’s easy to see that Daddy’s right about her. I don’t remember him saying such things about you at her age. Maybe that’s why he babied you more than he babied any of us.”
“He didn’t baby me, Ava. He loved me.”
“Call it what you want.” She stood up, turned to look at her figure in the mirror, and smiled at me. “But don’t worry, Lorelei. You’ll be getting your chance to prove yourself to Daddy very soon now.”
“When?”
“Soon.” She suddenly looked younger herself, the happiness lighting her eyes. “It’s exciting how fast things happen when you’re ready, isn’t it? I’m ready to leave, and you’re ready to begin.”
“Yes,” I said quickly to cover up any self-doubts. “So, after you leave, will you be like Brianna and never have anything more to do with us?”
“Don’t ask questions about my destiny, Brianna’s, or even your own right now,” she warned. Then she smiled again, her mood changing once more. “Daddy has another surprise to announce at dinner.”
“What is it?”
“If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise, will it?”
“Why isn’t it a surprise for you, too, then?” I asked.
“Haven’t you figured it out yet, Lorelei? I’ve moved to another stage in my development. I’m what you might call one of Daddy’s inner circle now.” She stepped closer to me and narrowed her eyes. “Think you’ll ever get there?”
It was as if she had put her lips to mine and sucked the air out of my lungs and throat. I couldn’t speak for a moment.
“I’ll be just as good a daughter to Daddy as you’ve ever been,” I said as firmly and as defiantly as I could.
“I hope so. For your sake, I hope so,” she said. She walked to the door and opened it before turning back to me. “I guess we’ll know soon enough, won’t we? See you at dinner.” She closed the door softly, but the sound of it, that sharp click, felt like a pin in my heart.
I was all pins and needles as I headed to the dining room for dinner. When I reached the living room, I heard Daddy’s laughter and stopped to look in. Marla was demonstrating something that struck him as funny. From the way she was parading in front of him, it looked as if she was showing him how she walked, turned her shoulders, and flirted with her eyes. He clapped his hands, and then he saw me in the doorway.
“Ah, Lorelei. Come in. Marla was just demonstrating something she calls the Dance of the Honey Bee. Isn’t that a cute name for it?”
“I don’t know, Daddy. I didn’t see her do it.”
“Well, you will,” he said, rising. “Now, where’s our Ava? I’m getting hungry. Marla has stirred my appetites.”
“I’m here, Daddy,” she called from behind me.
“Okay, girls,” he said. “Let’s go in before Mrs. Fennel calls us for a change. I have some important announcements to deliver.”
He reached for Marla the way he had reached for me that night when I wore the dress he had brought back from Paris. He kissed her, too. I looked more closely at her when she turned gleefully to me. There really was something older, more mature about her, especially in her eyes. I hadn’t seen it that morning, but maybe that was because my mind was on other things. Or perhaps I was not able to see it emerging. Perhaps only Daddy could see that.
We sat at the table and joined hands, anticipating Daddy’s opening remarks.
“My darlings,” he began, “for life to hold any interest for us especially, it must from time to time provide surprises. Think of how boring it must be for a clairvoyant to know exactly what lies beyond the next minute, the next hour, the next day. If there is indeed a God and he is all-knowing, he must be as bored with his eternal existence as we would be. Never be afraid of the unknown. Cherish it, in fact, the way you cherish the darkness. I like to think that our lives have a rhythm, just the way our hearts have a rhythm, and when it changes for one reason or another, we know something different is coming or has come.” He nodded at Marla.
I looked at Ava. She wore that smile of superiority, which right now I felt like slapping off her face.