Now I thought about the hole in the ceiling and wondered if Cary had been watching us all that time. Did he feel so left out? Was that why he would do that? How long had the hole been there? The thought of Cary watching me muddled my brain for a moment, and I just stood there, holding the dress.
"Are you happy with the dress, Laura?" Mommy asked. "I know it's not as expensive as some of the dresses other girls will be wearing."
"What? Oh. Yes, Mommy. I just love this dress."
I took it out of the closet and lay it on the bed. Then I took out my shoes.
"Well," Mommy said, "I'd better get downstairs and work on dinner for your father, Cary, and May. Call me when you're all ready," she said. "I can't wait to see you. Oh, and I want you to wear my necklace tonight," she said.
I started to shake my head. Mommy's necklace was her only really expensive piece of jewelry. Even her wedding ring was not that expensive, because Daddy thought it was a waste of money to buy something elaborate when a mere silver band would serve the same purpose.
"I can't, Mommy."
"Sure you can, honey. When do I get a chance to wear it? I want you to wear it for me, okay?"
I nodded hesitantly.
"Come along, May," she signed, "and help me with dinner tonight. Laura has too much to do."
"Oh, I can help, Mommy."
"No you can't, honey. I told you, I never went to a school dance, but I wanted to very much. Tonight," she said with a deep sigh, "you're going for me, too."
"Oh Mommy, thank you," I said. She held out her arms and I hugged her back.
I felt tears prickling under my lids and quickly kissed her cheek and turned away to take a deep breath. After she and May had left, I sat at my vanity table and began to paint my fingernails. I started to daydream, imagining what it was going to be like to be dancing in Robert's arms, floating under the balloons and the lights, feeling him holding me close, occasionally brushing his lips over my hair.
A deep creak in the ceiling pulled me from my reverie and reminded me of the peephole in my ceiling. I gazed up at it and then I got up and went into the bathroom. I was angry, but then I began to feel sorry for Cary. I knew I was shutting him out of a part in my life, a part he could never enter again, yet he had to understand that I was growing up and the things that once amused me, amused us, were no longer enough. He'll soon realize it, I convinced myself. He has to. In the meantime, I didn't want to do anything else to break his heart.
My thoughts returned to the dance. I was so excited, I had to lie down and rest before I got dressed. I know I dozed for nearly an hour before my eyes snapped open and I sat up, frightened I had slept too long. I was only asleep for twenty minutes, but still I hurried to put on my dress. Then I put on a little more lipstick than ever before and perfected my hair before taking a deep breath and gazing at myself in the mirror.
Was I really pretty, as pretty as Mommy claimed? Robert thought I was and, of course, Cary did, too, but I never felt like the girl Mommy had described. I never thought all the boys were looking my way or that I had even turned a single head. I wasn't ugly, I decided, but I was no raving, movieactress beauty. I had to keep my feet on the ground and not let my ego swell like so many other girls I knew at school.
Everyone was just finishing dinner when I went downstairs. Mommy slapped her hands together and cried out as soon as I entered the dining room. Daddy sat back, nodding, and May was smiling from ear to ear. Cary wore a strange, dark look.
"You're beautiful, honey. Just beautiful. Isn't she, Jacob?" Mommy said.
"Vanity is a sin, Sara. She looks fine, but there's no reason to blow her so full of steam she explodes," Daddy chastised. However, he wore a very proud expression as well.
"Now you just wait right there," Mommy said, and she hurried out of the dining room.
"How do I look, Cary?" I asked him. I couldn't stand the fact that he wouldn't look my way.
"Fine," he said quickly and dropped his gaze to his plate. "I might have thought you'd be going to the dance, too," Daddy told him.
"It's stupid," Cary muttered.
"How's that?"
"I'm not interested in any old dance," he snapped. Daddy's eyebrows lifted.
"Well, it's a well-chaperoned affair, isn't it? Teachers are there, right?"
"What's that matter, Dad?" Cary said with a smirk. "Teachers are in school, too, but kids smoke in the bathrooms and do other things."
"What other things?"
"Other things," Cary said, realizing he was digging himself a hole he might not easily climb out of. He looked to me, but I said nothing. "Dumb things kids do."