Megan laughed.
"I started giving her a different name for myself each time just to see if it mattered. It didn't."
"What did you mean when you said they moved her to the Tower?" I asked.
"She's still here, but on the top floor. We call it the Tower because Megan thinks once you are taken up there, you are shut away for the rest of your life, like in a tower," Mary Beth explained and shrugged.
"You are! No one who's been brought up there ever comes back to this floor, do they?" Megan fired at her. She glared angrily for a moment and then turned to me. "You can just imagine what goes on. She could be raped and not even remember it the next day. If they ever want to take me up there, I want you all to promise to kill me."
Lulu laughed.
"I mean it," Megan said. "I'd rather be dead." She glared at Lawrence, who immediately looked down.
"Why are you here?" I asked Mary Beth.
Megan laughed loud and hard.
"Are you kidding? Why is she here? Look at her. She thinks she's fat."
"I am overweight for my size," Mary Beth said.
I started to smile, but saw the look on Lawrence's face that told me not to.
"She eats and then throws it all up," Megan said. "One of these days, they'll tie her to her bed and shove a tube down her throat."
"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, not knowing what else to say. I had the feeling words were like footsteps on thin ice here.
"Go on, ask Lawrence why he is here," Megan taunted. I looked at him. He held my gaze for a brief time and then blushed and looked down at his hands. They looked long and graceful. He had them folded and was twirling his thumbs. "Can you guess why he's here?" Megan continued.
"I have no idea," I said. "He looks very healthy."
His eyes lifted to mine and I thought he smiled, but then I realized he had the sort of face that could easily be deceiving. Was it a smile or a look of pain? As if to answer, he moved
his lips slightly, lifted them almost imperceptibly in the corners, brightened his eyes and fixed them for a second on me, but almost as soon as he realized I felt his interest, he shifted away. Was he merely overly shy? That wouldn't be enough to keep someone here, would it? I wondered.
"Well, Lawrence, tell her what's wrong with you," Megan challenged. "Go on. Don't leave her hanging and guessing." He shook his head.
"Oh, go on, tell her," Megan taunted. "It's a sign of improvement when you can talk about your own problem," Megan explained.
He glanced at me again and then looked away. I thought his eyes were starting to look a bit teary.
"Lawrence hasn't made much improvement yet. Young Mr. Taylor," she continued, "has what the doctors describe as a panic disorder. Don't you, Lawrence?"
"Can't you leave him alone?" Mary Beth said.
"What am I doing to him? Lawrence, can't you speak up for yourself?"
"Yes, Lawrence? Hold it, everyone," Megan said, raising her hands. She turned and looked toward the two boys playing chess. "Quiet down over there. Lawrence Taylor the third is about to say something. Go on, Lawrence," she said.
He looked at me and then rose quickly, his face flushed.
"Where are you going?" Megan cried.
"Will you leave him alone," Mary Beth said.
Lawrence glanced at me and then hurried out of the recreation room.
Megan laughed.