Music in the Night (Logan 4)

"Hopefully, you will be cured and gone by that time," he said. "I'm sure you'd like that better, wouldn't you? You do want to go home, home to that little sister who needs you, and your twin brother and your parents, who I am sure miss you."

"Well, where are they then?" I asked. "Why don't they come to see me?"

My question startled him.

"In your case, it is not advisable just yet. Too much too soon, as I said, could cause you to have a breakdown and do what I just described: drive your past even farther away."

"Why?"

He hesitated.

"I'm not sure it's wise to tell you that just yet." "I have to know. Why?" I insisted.

"Very well. It's because what happened to you is something you blame yourself for. You are the way you are because of guilt," he explained.

"So then, whatever happened was my fault? What did I do that was so terrible?"

"Maybe nothing," he said, "or maybe something that contributed to a tragedy," he continued. "You have to proceed in steps. First, gradually return to yourself and then deal with the guilt. Okay?"

"No. It's not okay. Why doesn't my family come to see me?" I exclaimed.

"There are frequent reports," he said.

"Reports? I would never be satisfied with only reports. Did I do something that hurt them? Is that why I suffer this guilt?"

"You know it's better if you make your own discoveries," he said rather dryly.

I thought for a moment. Could it be that my parents weren't any better than Lawrence's or Megan's?

"No, I don't want to wait anymore. I want to know everything, and now," I said.

"Miss Logan--"

"And I want to see Doctor Southerby. I have to see him. I have to tell him what's happened. He can help me. I know he can help me. Please." I started to cry, my sobs growing stronger, longer with every passing second.

"Miss Logan, get hold of yourself."

"WHY . . . DON'T MY PARENTS . . COME TO SEE ME?" I screamed.

He pushed a button on his desk and then he rose. The office door opened and Mrs. Kleckner and a male attendant came rushing in. The look in the attendant's eyes frightened me.

"We're acting out again," Doctor Scanlon announced, as though he and I were conspirators. "I think it would be better for now if she went upstairs."

"Upstairs?" I said, looking at them. "NO!"

I leaped up and stepped away from them, shaking my head.

"Easy," the attendant said, moving slowly toward me. "My name is Arnie. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you."

"I'm not going to the Tower!"

"Whoever gave that floor that ridiculous name?" Doctor Scanlon asked Mrs. Kleckner.

"One of our patients, I'm sure, Doctor." She turned to me. "Now, don't make this any harder on yourself than it has to be. You have to do what the doctor says. Come along," she said.

I shook my head.

"Please, I'll be good. I swear I'll be good. I'll go back to my room. I won't complain. I won't ask for Doctor Southerby anymore. Leave me alone. Please," I pleaded.