"There's another stairway that's used to bring up supplies mainly. It's right near here. I didn't know what room you were in, of course* I checked two others before finding you. The chart on your door says that they don't want you to be disturbed. Has something terrible happened to you, Laura? Have you remembered something horrible? Is that why they brought you up here?"
I told him what had happened with Doctor Scanlon and what he wanted done with me and why.
"I don't see why that meant you had to be brought up here," Lawrence commented.
"Neither do I. I want to go back downstairs, be with people, move about on my own."
"Did you tell him that?"
"Yes, but he keeps saying they're doing this to protect me, to ensure that I don't hurt myself."
"I don't know why they can't protect you downstairs just as well," Lawrence said. I nodded.
"Anyway, at least I know where you are now. I'll come up to see you as much as I can, but it will have to be at night. If I get caught, they'll lock me up someplace, too, or ship me away like Megan."
"I can't believe you got up here. You know everything about this clinic," I said. He was barely visible in the dim light from the hallway, but I saw him smile.
"I've been here long enough to know every corner of the place," he said. "Are you going to be all right?"
"I'm scared,-Lawrence," I said, holding on to his hand. "I don't want to be here, but I'm frightened of putting up too much of a fight. What if Doctor Scanlon's right? He's the head doctor, isn't he? They said even Doctor Southerby learned from him."
"I don't know, but I don't want you to be frightened, Laura," Lawrence said softly. He rose and brought himself closer to me. I knew what courage it took for him to come up to see me, how much of his own problem he had to have overcome.
"Thank you for coming up here, Lawrence. I want you to know that it means a lot to me that you snuck up to see me."
"I couldn't sleep, thinking about you and worrying about you," he said.
We heard footsteps in the hallway.
"Someone's coming," I whi
spered and watched frantically as he crawled underneath my bed.
Moments later, the door opened and Mrs. Roundchild stood silhouetted in the hallway light. She stared in at me. I closed my eyes and waited, praying she wouldn't come in. She stood there for the longest time and then she left, closing the door behind her. Neither Lawrence nor I spoke or moved until we heard her footsteps die away. Finally he got to his feet.
"That was close," I said. "You'd better go."
"All right."
I started to sob. I didn't want him to go. I felt more secure, more at ease with him holding my hand. He leaned toward me again and I touched his face. His lips drew closer and closer until they met mine. It wasn't so much of a kiss as it was a brush of lips and a sigh.
"I wish I could stay here with you all night," he whispered. "I wish I could put my arms around you and hold you and protect you from your own fearful thoughts. When I'm with you like this, I don't think about myself and I don't get panicked, Laura. I need to be with you as much for myself as for you," he admitted. "We're good for each other, Laura."
"I don't think I'm good for much right now, Lawrence. I'm no better than an invalid. I can't even get off the bed to go to the bathroom."
"You'll get better and get better. You'll see," he promised.
"You've been so nice to me, Lawrence. I'm glad we got to know each other," I said.
"I hope we can get to love each other," he followed quickly. I think the darkness made him brave. It brought a smile to my face.
He held his face close to mine for another moment and then he kissed me again, only this time, he held his lips to mine longer and made it into a real kiss.
I moaned softly, desperate for a loving touch, for affection.
He kissed me again, moving his lips over my cheeks and back to my lips. Then he kissed my forehead and held me.
"Robert," I said softly, my cheek against his chest. "What did you say?" He pulled back. I opened my eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked quietly.