"Your mother, that's who," I countered, but he shook his head.
He continued to stare at me, and as his glimmering eyes met mine, my pulse quickened. He stepped closer, and as he leaned toward me, I lifted my mouth in anticipation of his kiss. We kissed and then we kissed again only harder and longer. He took my hand and gently brought me to the small sofa. When he sat, he pulled me onto his lap and brought his lips to mine once again. This kiss was more intense.
"Oh Melody," he said, moving his lips down my cheek to my neck. I lay back, enjoying the feelings rushing through my body. "I've gotten so I don't think of anything but you. Even on the boat, I'm dreaming of you, forgetting to do things. Yesterday, I wandered about for twenty minutes, forgetting why I had a wrench in my hand. Dad thought I was sick."
"Lovesick," I laughed and he pulled back as if I had shot him.
"Yes, lovesick," he said with a sneer. "I guess I'm not as sophisticated about it as, say, Adam Jackson." He stood up, pulling his hand out of mine as if he'd been burned.
"Cary, I was just kidding. I just told May all about that and--"
"What do you think, I'm acting like an elevenyearold?" he asked astounded.
"No, I . ."
He shook his head and turned away.
"Cary, I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean to insult you. I don't want to drive you away from me," I added. He sat in his chair and sulked. I got up quickly and went to him. "I'm sorry," I said and kissed him on the cheek. He took a deep breath.
"I guess I'm just nervous," he admitted. "I don't have all that much experience with women." "Neither do I with men," I said. "So we've got to be kind to each other, gentle, loving, and most of all forgiving," I added.
He liked that and his smile was warm again.
"I forgive you. Now, where were we?" he asked and put his arms around my waist.
"I think right here," I said and leaned over to kiss him.
"Maybe I should have you tell me how babies are made, too," he kidded. "I'm not sure I've got it right." "I doubt that, Cary Logan."
He laughed and then stood up, tightening his embrace around me. As we kissed, his hands slid under my sweatshirt. His fingers moved up my side and up my back until he found the clip on my bra.
I didn't move. He fumbled a while with the clip and then suddenly, it unfastened. The thrill that shot through my body made my legs weak. I moaned under his kiss and he brought me back to the sofa. When his fingers moved over my nipple, I thought my heart would shatter from pounding.
"Oh Melody, I am lovesick, but I don't care," he whispered. "I don't care if I die of it."
He started to pull my sweatshirt up but I stopped him. No one but Mommy and Mama Arlene had ever seen me undressed before, I thought. It was exciting, but it was scary, too.
"Don't you want to?" he asked.
"Yes, but slowly," I said. He kissed me again, and again he started to pull up my sweatshirt. He brought his lips to my breast and I slipped farther down under him. His right hand moved to my hip and over to the button that fastened my jeans. The suddenness with which he did it surprised me. For a moment, I couldn't catch my breath.
"No," I said. "Not yet."
He pulled his hand back, kissed my breasts, and pressed himself to me. I felt the small explosion building inside me and then I felt his hardness, even through his pants, and I grew more frightened. It was happening, and if we let it go one second more, I thought, it would be like trying to hold back the tide.
"We'd better stop," I whispered. He held me tightly, his breathing coming hard and fast.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, for now. Please, Cary."
"Okay," he said. After another long moment, he stood up and turned away, embarrassed by his obvious sexual excitement. I sat up quickly and reached back to fasten my bra. "I should be going down to help Aunt Sara with dinner."
"Right," he said. He returned to his desk and started shuffling model parts back and forth noisily. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," he said, nodding but not looking at me. After a minute, he added, "I think it's easier for girls to stop once you start, especially when you've gone that far."
"I don't really know," I said, wondering if what he said was true.