I heard them leave the house and all grew quiet again. The small tight ball at the bottom of my stomach dissipated and waves of warm glee traveled to my heart, oozing satisfaction through my veins. Watching Carson's face shatter like some thin, plastic mask felt good. Men should feel the brunt of their own stupidity. They should feel the heel of truth come down on their naked feet.
I had no sens
e of guilt. If Carson couldn't accept Belinda for what she was, that was his problem, not mine. Someday, he would come see me and thank me for being so honest, for being the only one who dared to open his. eyes. Belinda would have to be honest with him, too. A marriage should have truth as part of its foundation, shouldn't it? It was wrong for Daddy to keep it all buried. How would he like to buy a boat that had weak joints in its hull? How would he like to discover the truth when he was already out to sea? Well, that's what it would be like for Carson McGil, wouldn't it? One day, months into their marriage, the truth about Belinda would reveal itself and Carson would feel like a man on a sinking vessel. It was better he went to sea knowing the dangers, the weaknesses in his little boat of love.
For a while that afternoon, I felt like someone who had performed a great act of charity. Who would criticize me for ensuring that my sister's marriage was based upon trust? Yes, I felt very good. I felt as if I had struck a blow for every decent, sensible woman in America, and if men like Nelson Childs and Carson McGil didn't appreciate that, well, too bad. Someday, they would.
After I finished Daddy's bookkeeping, I had lunch and went out to read in the gazebo. It was a gloriously sunny day with only pockets of milk-white clouds bursting here and there over the azure sky. The sea was calm; the sailboats looked dabbed by an artist's brush on the canvas of the Atlantic Ocean. There was a fresh, even delicious scent to the salt air. I really did appreciate and love our home. I could be no other place. This was where I would make my life, find my own husband and raise my own family. I felt more confident about it, more sure of myself, despite the recent events. Nature demonstrated itself all around me and taught the lesson: the strong eventually win. It's only a matter of time.
I hadn't been sitting there long when, like a small bomb exploding, Belinda burst through the back door of the house, tears streaming down her cheeks, her hands raised as if she had puppet strings tied to her wrists.
"There you are! There you are! You traitor. You jealous, horrible sister."
She charged over the lawn, her high heels catching in the grass and nearly tripping her. She pulled off her shoes and flung them angrily before continuing toward me.
"What is it, Belinda? Why are you back so soon?" I asked calmly, lowering my book to my lap.
She fumed for a moment, stammered and then took hold of the railing.
"You told Carson about my being expelled from finishing school," she accused, her right forefinger pointed at me like a knife. I could see she wanted to poke it right through my eye.
I shrugged.
"He already knew you had left finishing school abruptly," I said, still in a controlled, soft voice.
"Yes, yes, but he thought it was because I had wanted to leave, because I had been accused of stealing someone's stupid costume jewelry!"
"What? I didn't know that, Belinda. How am I supposed to keep track of all the lies you tell people? If you had a story you made up, you should have informed me so I could corroborate it when Carson asked. I thought you had told him the truth, so I just . . ."
"Just what? How could you tell him I was caught in bed with two boys?"
"I didn't tell him that," I said, now speaking with convincing assurance. After all, I hadn't. "I never said you were caught in bed with anyone."
"You didn't? But he said . . . so I just thought, and then I told him. Oh, I told him too much too fast," she cried.
"Yes, I bet you did. You volunteered more information than you had to give him. But that's the danger in building a relationship on a floor of falsehoods, Belinda. You never know when you're going to step through it and trip yourself."
"He was so shocked and he kept asking me questions about my high-school life. I just thought some of the boys had spoken to him, told him lies, exaggerated . . ."
"Bragged about making you pregnant?" I asked.
She looked at me.
"Yes, something like that."
"You mean you told him you were pregnant?"
"Not exactly. He wanted to know about my having children. He never talked about children before, so I didn't know what he meant. He said maybe I couldn't have children and I said of course I could. He wanted to know why I was so positive. I didn't say anything, but he . ."
"He's not as stupid as you hoped, is that it?" I asked. She shook her head.
"I don't know. He got so angry at me he just stopped the car, whipped it around and drove me home. He said he had to go off by himself and think things over."
She pouted, her arms across her breasts.
"The nerve of him," she fumed.
"If he loves you as much as you think he does, a little misunderstanding won't matter," I said.