Olivia (Logan 5)

"Please don't permit this to upset you, Mother," I said. "Drink some tea. Get something warm in your stomach."

"I will," she said, "but you must sit here and tell me all you know."

The teacup rattled against the saucer

precariously when she took it from me. She brought it to her lips and barely sipped, her eyes searching my face anxiously for clues as she peered over the edge of the cup. I sat beside her on the bed.

"None of us should really be surprised by these events, Mother," I began calmly. "We've always tried to protect Belinda from herself. We've always tried to keep her sins and mistakes buried."

Mother winced at the word and I stopped, realizing the not so vague reference to the premature infant that lay under the ground in the rear of our home.

"When you k

eep things hidden, when you lie or leave out all or part of the truth, you always risk being exposed and looking even more dreadful. That's what happened with Belinda. Carson found out about some of her past indiscretions and was upset. Belinda didn't know how to deal with it. She actually told him even more than he knew. She had been pretending to be so virginal and innocent throughout their engagement. The contrast between the illusion and reality probably frightened him away more than anything else," I said. I paused, looked down at my hands and asked, "Daddy told you about the engagement ring?"

"What about it?"

"I hate telling you these things when you're so sick." "I'll be all right. Tell me," she pleaded.

"Sip your tea, Mother. Please."

She forced herself to do so. I saw from the way she closed her eyes and grimaced that even that bothered her. It set my heart to pounding.

"You're seeing a doctor today," I insisted, "even if I have to take you there myself."

"All right, Olivia. All right. You were saying something about that engagement ring?"

"She threw it out the car window when Carson became upset with the lies."

"What? You mean . . ." She shook her head as if to shake the words out of her ears.

"It's gone. He couldn't find it. It's like looking for a certain fish in the ocean."

"Oh dear, dear. What will people think and say? That was such an expensive ring."

"They'll get over it," I predicted, but she shook her head again, this time with slow deliberation.

"No. It will be like the Potter affair," she said. Mother was referring to the infamous story of Helen Potter, daughter of a multimillionaire beer and wine distributor in Hyannis Port who, after she had been engaged to the son of a wealthy Boston builder, was discovered naked in bed with her closest girlfriend. They claimed it was all innocent, but the damage was done and the wedding plans ended. Helen was sent to Europe and eventually disappeared in a myriad of stories, some describing her changing her name and wedding a Hungarian baron, others talking about her becoming a flaming lesbian in Paris and living on the Left Bank. The truth really didn't matter. Her girlfriend went on to become a doctor and live in California, but the Potters became personae non gratae when it came to social events and never recovered. Mr. Potter eventually had a stroke and died with only his wife and servants at his bedside. It had become the subject of gossip and glib jokes, but parents keen about their social status often used the Potter Affair as a threat to keep their sons and daughters within the confines of good behavior.

"It's nowhere near as serious as that, Mother. Everyone who knows Belinda, knows she's impulsive and silly."

"What will become of her?"

"In time she'll find someone else, I'm sure," I said, but not with any real conviction. Mother just closed her eyes and nodded. Then she handed me the cup and saucer. "You need to drink more," I said.

"I'm tired. Let me rest, Olivia."

"I'm going downstairs and getting Daddy to arrange for you to see a doctor or for a doctor to come here, Mother."

"It's just my nerves," she said.

"It can't be just nerves. It's lasted too long and . . ."

"I've neglected something and I'm nervous about it," she suddenly confessed.

I stared, my heart pounding.

"What are you saying, Mother? Neglected what?"