Olivia (Logan 5)

A Turn

for the Worse

.

Daddy put on an Academy Award performance

when he returned and I showed him the engagement ring. Of course, I was tempted to shatter the illusion of surprise about my engagement and tell him I knew that he had already known Samuel's intention, that I knew he had been part of the planning, but with Mother dying in the room upstairs, we so needed some good news. I decided I would join him in the world of make-believe. We were a family out to sea, grasping desperately for a life raft of hope. As for the revelations Mother had told me, I was determined that for now and perhaps forever, I would keep them well hidden inside me. Daddy would never look at my face and see what I knew.

"I'm very happy for you, dear," he said. "I'm happy for all of us. It's a perfect union. You'll be happy together and we'll build something profitable. The bottom line is marriage can be a sensible partnership, too."

"I know, Daddy. I've already told Mother and she is very excited. She looks so tired and so much weaker, though. It's the cure that's killing her now." "Yes," he said sadly, despair returning to wash the happiness out of his eyes. He shook his head. "I don't know if I should go to this party. I'm not much in the mood for people and music and laughter."

"Go for a little while," I told him. "Show your face and then leave," I said. He nodded.

"You're righ

t. You always have the sensible suggestion, Olivia."

He kissed me on the forehead quickly and I couldn't help but think that the way he kissed me was somehow reserved, cold. Something inside him, despite his promises to Mother and despite his own desire, kept him from being fully my father.

He congratulated me again on my engagement before looking in on Mother.

I had, on my very own this time, gone and bought myself a new outfit for the Childs' engagement party. It was a two-piece navy blue wool knit suit with a silk blouse. I put on a thin pearl rope necklace and matching earrings and then indulged myself with more makeup than ever, choosing one of Belinda's brighter reds for my lipstick. I stood before the mirror and tested the length of my jacket sleeve as I moved my arm about, just to be sure my ring was always highlighted. Satisfied, I went to show Mother how I looked, but she was still asleep. Her nurse looked up from the book she was reading, looked at Mother and then turned back to me to shake her head softly, her eyes dark with concern. I nodded and backed out of the room, quietly closing the door. I'll stop in when I return, I thought and went downstairs to wait for Samuel.

Samuel was so excited and happy he nearly bounced in his seat as he talked, filling me in on his father's happy reaction to the announcement of our engagement.

"Did it make your mother happy?" he asked as we drove to the Childs' house.

"Yes, but she's not doing well, Samuel. I'm very concerned about her condition," I said. "Each day she grows weaker and smaller. It's as if she's fading away in that bed."

"I'm so sorry," he said and was silent. Dark thoughts like the tide crawled up to soak our brains in dreary images.

However, our heavy moment didn't last long. The sight of the Childs' estate, with the line of expensive cars building in the driveway, people in elegant dress milling about and music from the small orchestra wafting through the air, brought us out of our morose mood. Everyone who was anyone in Cape Cod society was present, as well as social editors with their photographers trailing right behind them snapping pictures of important couples, politicians and wealthy businessmen.

Since it was...A partly cloudy, warm day with a gentle breeze coming in from the southwest, it couldn't have been more perfect for an afternoon affair. The guests were everywhere: on the porch, around the tables set up in front of the orchestra, or just wandering about the lawns and gardens. Through the line of red maples behind the house, patches of deep blue ocean were visible.

Overflowing with a thousand anxieties, I got out of Samuel's car when the valet opened my door. Samuel and I stood for a moment contemplating everything. Naturally, every new arrival drew the interest of the guests already gathered, so all eyes were on us for a moment. I saw people lean toward each other to whisper, heard laughter to my right, and then caught sight of Nelson and his fiancee talking to a half dozen couples near the outdoor bar. I thought he was looking my way as he listened and nodded to whomever was speaking.

"Let's get some champagne," Samuel suggested, took my arm and led me toward the roving waitresses. With our glasses in hand, we approached Nelson's parents and wished them the best. Nelson's mother noticed my ring immediately and asked about it.

"We thought we might as well join the happily married couples in this world," Samuel declared.

The news spread so fast through the gathering it was as if the breeze had its own lips and whispered in every ear. Heads turned, some congratulated us quickly, others just nodded and raised their glasses in a silent ceremonial toast. When Daddy arrived, he was quickly surrounded by his friends and associates and congratulated as well.

Nelson's fiancee hugged me and wished me luck, too. She raved about my ring. Hers was a little larger, but I thought mine more elegant because of the baguettes. I was grateful to the jeweler who had given Samuel advice and eventually told him so. Except for a quick greeting and a smile and nod of

congratulations from him, Nelson didn't spend much time talking to us. In all fairness, he was in demand at every turn and it was difficult for him to take too much time with any one couple.

Just before we all sat at the tables to begin the sumptuous feast, Daddy came to tell me he was making his subtle exit. He was too nervous about Mother to stay much longer, he said.

"She doesn't even know I left the house. She wasn't awake."

"She's been sleeping a lot now, Daddy."

"I know." His face was somber for a moment and then he smiled. "Everyone's raving about you, Olivia. I think you and Samuel stole some of the Childs' spotlight here."

"I doubt that, Daddy," I said. "This is quite an engagement party."