Olivia (Logan 5)

My handyman and driver Raymond found a friend to replace Jerome for Daddy, and I located another maid and cook to replace Carmelita, but that maid had words with Belinda and quit and I had to find another. I was going at so rapid a pace these days that I didn't stop to think about myself much until one morning I woke and almost immediately became nauseous and vomited. Samuel heard the commotion and knocked on my door.

"Are you all right, Olivia?"

I caught my breath and sat on the edge of the tub, thinking.

"Olivia?"

"Yes, yes," I said. "I'm fine, Samuel."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I said, but a cold fear came over me. I was always so irregular, I never thought about my not getting my period and I had been so busy lately, that I lost track of the days and weeks. This wasn't just irregularity, I thought. It had been too long even for that.

Without Samuel's knowledge, I made an appointment with Doctor Covington and had an examination. He gave me a test and called a few days later to confirm the diagnosis.

"Congratulations, Olivia. You are pregnant," he announced with fanfare in his voice.

The word hit me like a pail of ice water. Ever since that morning when I had opened the door to Belinda's room and saw the secret fetus curled on the floor, pregnancy and babies were dark and mysterious things to me. What would my birthing be like?

I didn't tell Samuel immediately. It was as if by keeping it a secret from him, I could keep it from being true. And then there was the strange dream I had the night the doctor had called to tell me the news. I dreamed the baby that was born looked so much like Nelson, Samuel believed Nelson and I had been together. I had fantasized so strongly when he and I had made love that my body put Nelson's features into the baby and not Samuel's. It was a silly dream, but it frightened me. Later, when my baby was born and he looked more like Samuel than he looked like me, those wild thoughts would seem even more ridiculous.

The morning after Doctor Covington had called, I finally announced the news to Samuel at breakfast.

"It seems the problems I've been having these last few mornings relate to my condition, Samuel," I began.

"Condition? What condition?"

"Doctor Covington tells me I'm pregnant."

"No? Pregnant? That's wonderful," he cried jumping to his feet. "How many months?"

"A little over three," I replied dryly.

He slapped his hands together.

"We'll have to tell my father, your father. We'll have to make plans for the nursery. Preparations! Preparations! We'll have to think about how you'll cut back on work and plan duties I should start to assume and . ."

"We will not," I declared. "I will not be cutting back on my work."

"But . . . you're having a baby and I

just assumed . . ."

"Don't assume anything. Having a baby isn't like having a deadly disease, is it? Well, is it?"

"No, but your father and I, we thought, we always expected that you would want to diminish your responsibilities and turn more of the day to day business over to me as soon as the prospect of a family loomed over us."

"That's not going to happen, Samuel," I said fixing my gaze on him so intently, he had to look away. "I've built this business alongside my father and since my mother's death, as you know, I've had to take on more and more of the responsibility, but I've improved our positions everywhere and I'm not about to see any of it lost just because I happen to be pregnant."

"I won't do anything to lose our business, Olivia," he said with pained indignity. "I've done my share of bringing us new clients. Why . ."

"Just continue to do what you're doing then," I said charitably. "AndI'll do the same. They'll be a short period when reduce my workload, but we'll have a nanny and I'll keep up with everything. I won't have a family any other way," I insisted. He could see from my expression that there wasn't room for any sort of compromise when it came to this.

"Fine," he agreed, sitting again. He looked like a boat that had lost wind from its sails. "Whatever you think is best, of course." He fingered his coffee cup. "This is . . . wonderful news. My father will be pleased and so will yours. How are you feeling?" he suddenly thought to ask. "Does the doctor say everything is all right?"

"Everything is."

"Good, good. I wonder if we'll have a son, another fisherman, eh? Well," he added, the smile returning to his face like a dying spark that had been fanned back into a small flame. "I'll be walking about with my chest out today."