"No, but you can go to the h
ospital cafeteria and get something for yourself," I said.
"You're just going to sit here and wait?"
"Yes."
"It could be hours. It could be days. You've got to think of our baby, too, Olivia," he said softly.
"I'll wait as long as I can and then we'll go home." He stood there looking at me. "I promise," I added.
"Okay. I'll just run down and get a sandwich. Should I bring you anything?"
"No," I said. "Thank you."
He left and I sat there sipping my drink. I was too tired to feel tired. It was more like being numb. I closed my eyes and lay back. I began to daydream and saw myself as a little girl wandering in our backyard, studying plants and watching the birds, especially the terns as they swooped down to pluck clams. I never heard Daddy come up beside me.
"There's a lot to learn from the sea," he had said. "Sometimes, when you're caught in a current, it's best not to fight it. It's best to go along with it and to maintain your self-respect and sense of control, maybe go faster than the current. Do you understand, Olivia?"
I thought about it a moment and nodded.
"Yes, Daddy. It happened to me once when I was swimming. A wave washed over me and I felt myself being drawn out, but I didn't resist. I went with it and popped up frightened, but I was able to get back to shore."
"That's it. Learn from every experience and you'll always grow, Olivia."
He patted me on the head and left me.
"Excuse me, Mrs. Logan," a nurse said, popping the bubble of my memories.
I sat up quickly.
"Yes?"
"Your father seems to be moving in and out of consciousness. I thought you might . . ."
"Yes," I said, "thank you." I rose and followed her back into the CCU.
When I approached the bed, Daddy's eyes were still closed. I took his hand and waited and a moment later, his eyes opened and he looked up at me. He started to move his lips. I leaned down to get my ear close.
"Yes, Daddy, I'm here."
"Olivia . . . please . ."
"What, Daddy? What do you want me to do?" "Take . . . care of . . . Belinda," he said. "Will you?" I felt my throat tighten, but I managed to get out the word.
"Yes."
"Promise . . . me," he said, his voice so low, I barely heard it now.
"I promise, Daddy," I said.
His face took on a gentle glow for a moment and then he closed his eyes.
I waited for him to wake up again, but he didn't. A half hour later, he died. I was just sitting there when the monitor sounded its alarm and the nurses came rushing to his bedside to do what they could. They asked me to wait outside. Samuel was there in the waiting room. He looked up when I appeared.
"Something's happening," I said. "They're working on him."
"Oh?" He looked terrified, which made him appear younger, smaller, like a little boy.