community, Samuel, not the least of which is our family reputation. Congressmen, judges, major businessmen and their families have all been invited to our home. You are judged by the company you keep," I said, recalling one of my father's adages.
"Of course," he said. "If you think it might be necessary . ."
"I don't want any more dramatic surprises," I affirmed.
He shook his head in despair, but didn't disagree. I let another week pass before deciding I would take some action. There were nights Belinda never came home. She claimed she had visited a friend down the Cape or had gone on someone's boat, and she got angry at me for even asking.
"I'm not a little girl anymore, Olivia. I agreed to the sale of Daddy's home and my living here as long as I wasn't going to be treated like a little girl. I don't ask you where you go every time you leave the house, do I?"
"That's quite different. Where do I go but places with my husband or places for business reasons?"
"Still," she said petulantly, "I don't give you the third degree, do I? Live and let live."
"You're spending money like it's going out of style," I said. "I have a pile of bills on my desk that would choke an accountant."
"What I spend, I need to spend," she claimed. "Isn't it mine to spend, too?"
"At this rate you'll deplete your inheritance in a few years," I told her. She shrugged.
"There will be someone to take care of me, I'm sure," she said with an arrogant confidence that made my blood almost hot enough to boil.
Frustration like arthritis crept into my very joints. Why I should even bother with her, I didn't know. I vowed to put her out of my mind, but I couldn't help worrying about what she would do to us in the community. Samuel's and my reputations had been growing dramatically. We were on everyone's Alist for parties again. People didn't necessarily like me, but they definitely respected me. I wasn't going to see all that jeopardized by an empty-headed self-centered sister.
Finally, I picked up the phone and called someone a business acquaintance had recommended. He was not a private detective so much as he was an insurance investigator. His name was Nicholas Koson. I didn't meet him at my office because I didn't want Samuel to know I was hiring him. I went to him and told him what I wanted.
"I don't have to emphasize how important it will be for you to be discreet," I said.
"Of course. That's what I do be
st," he claimed and I gave him his retainer, along with pictures of Belinda.
I could have waited and saved money. Less than ten days later, Belinda came to me on her own and revealed everything. The dark shadow that had been lingering behind my heart moved over it like a conquering army, full of joy and pleasure in its victory. I had been right; I had always been right.
Sometimes, when evenings were warm, after the children had been fed and were put to bed, I would go out and sit in my gazebo. Samuel liked to read his papers or watch some sporting event on television. More and more lately, he would go down to the wharf and talk with fishermen. I didn't mind the solitude. I welcomed it. My days were hectic and full of interaction with people. It was good to have these quiet moments during which I could reflect on how things were going and what I hoped to do in the future for the family. I was already thinking about Jacob's and Chester's prospects, what kind of men they would be, wives they would have. I hoped I would be a bigger influence on them than Samuel.
Tonight, the moon was big and bright with an occasional cloud streaking its face, making it seem sinister for a moment and then happy again. It was the way I felt.
"There you are," I heard and turned to see Belinda come out of the house and walk toward me. She was wearing a sleeveless light blue cotton dress and her arms gleamed in the moonlight. Despite her cavalier lifestyle, her drinking and late hours, she still maintained an attractive figure and a remarkably soft, rich complexion. Why she should be so blessed, I did not know. What I did know was she took it all for granted, never thanking her lucky stars.
There was a warm, steady breeze tonight. It made some of the strands of her hair dance wildly about her forehead. She paused at the steps of the gazebo.
"Honoring us with your presence at home tonight?" I asked. "Or am I invading your privacy by asking?"
She looked toward the sea.
"You're going to hate me," she said. My heart stopped and started.
"I thought you believed I already did," I replied. She turned.
"Don't joke with me, Olivia. I'm in trouble."
I took a deep breath. The fear in her voice, the smallness and little girl sound softened my hardened heart. I heard Daddy's death-bed whisper, urging me to promise to watch over Belinda.
"What have you done now?" I finally asked.
"I don't know how it happened. I have always been very careful ever since . . . ever since that time," she said. She sat on the steps with her back to me. I didn't move.
Against the horizon, a luxury liner with its glittering lights appeared. Although it was too far from shore, I imagined I heard the music and the laughter of people who had left all their cares and worries behind. They were floating on a ship of happiness where no one talked of sickness or failure or defeat. All their family problems had been left on shore. How I wished I could fly over the water and be dropped on its deck.