Olivia (Logan 5)

"Funny," he said, "I never think of you as loving Belinda."

"Of course I love her. She's my sister, isn't she?" I said.

He nodded and gazed at the sea, too.

"Nelson called. He wanted to know how it was going." "Generous of him," I said.

"He really is filled with remorse, Olivia."

"You're breaking my heart," I said grimacing. Samuel laughed.

"Nelson calls you the Iron Lady of the Cape now."

"I'm not interested in what he calls me," I said. Samuel smiled at me. "I'm not."

"Okay," he said. "I'm going in to take a shower and get ready for dinner."

"I'll be in soon," I said.

"That Haille . . I swear she's smiling already when she looks up at me. She's going to be a charmer," he remarked.

"I have no doubt," I said.

He went into the house and the breeze became a little stronger. I thought I could hear the boys shouting and laughing. In the days and years to come, they would all be playing on this lawn, I thought, the three of them growing up as one family.

"I'm right. I know I'm right," I muttered to myself. I thought if Daddy were here, he would agree. Even Mother would agree, although she wouldn't want to talk about it.

Someday, I thought, Nelson would realize all that I had done for him and he would be more grateful. He might even come to love me for who I was and not resent me. I felt confident of that.

Why did I feel so sad though? If I was right, why wasn't I feeling more satisfied?

I was a very successful and powerful

businesswoman. I had my sons and I had Nelson's daughter. Wouldn't everything be just what I wanted it to be?

If I could only see the future, just get one glimpse and be absolutely sure, wouldn't it be wonderful? However, that was impossible. That was like believing in magic, I thought.

I remembered once when I was a little girl I had picked up a seashell, put it to my ear as Daddy instructed, and heard the roar of the ocean.

"How could the ocean be in a seashell, Daddy?" I asked.

"It's not in there. The seashell is like ears that hold the ocean's roar," he told me. "Then, at night, the roar escapes and returns to the sea."

I laughed.

"That's silly, Daddy."

"No, Olivia, it's true. The roar you hear is the roar that sounded a hundred years ago. It's the ocean's voice, captured. If you listen really hard, you might even hear a sea gull's c

ry."

Skeptical, I listened again and I thought I had. My eyes widened with surprise.

"Believe in something magical, Olivia. We all need to believe in something magical," he advised.

He took my hand and we continued down the beach. I held on to the seashell and then I dropped it in the darkness.

All my life, I thought, I would be searching for it.