"See. That's a responsible boy. He don't want to waste his time or his daddy's gas," Raspberry said, and they all laughed.
"What gas would he hook up?" I asked.
"For your great-aunt's stove." Alanis said. "Didn't they bring gas for your grandmother's stove, or was everything electric?"
"I don't know what was or wasn't brought. The deliveries were always made in the rear of the mansion."
"Rear of the mansion?" Nikki asked. 'What's she talking about?"
"Oh, forget about it. We'll see you girls later. C'mon. Jordan, we'll start for home. There's this candy store on the way that sells cigarettes to minors. The old lady running it can hardly see or hear and I'll tell her I'm eighteen. We'll call Granddad from the pay phone there and get him to pick us up."
"See you later," Nikki said.
"Don't forget. I want to hear about Jordan's brother, Ian,"
Raspberry said. "And the Sister Project!"
We watched them walk off then started for the exit.
"See? They're very interested in you. I knew they would like you and want to be your friend, too. You can see why those two are my best friends," Alanis said. "And best of all, you don't have to worry about anything you tell them."
If I had anything to worry about, I thought, looking at Nikki and Raspberry, it was whatever I would tell them. In my heart I knew they weren't trustworthy. Ian would say they had mouths with broken zippers.
I kept it to myself and walked on, thinking about what Alanis said about boys. It applied to friends. too. I thought. You had to try them on for size. Right now, I didn't think Alanis and her friends fit. but I was too frightened to say so. I didn't want Alanis to get align, at me and think I was a snob.
What should I do? I wondered, What should I tell them and what shouldn't I tell them? Whom could I ask about it?
I certainly couldn't ask my mother, who was in a coma, or my father, who had gladly sent me off, or my grandmother, who was in a hospital and would never want to be bothered with such questions. Certainly I couldn't ask my great-aunt Frances, who made me feel as if I'd been the adult. For one reason or another, none of them could help me understand and make the right decisions now.
I'm not just lost, I thought.
I'm lost and forgotten.
Maybe, just maybe, Ian can help me. I'll find his address the envelopes in the paper bag and then I'll write to him and ask him questions. Great-aunt Frances had already said she would mail my letters to him, and now that I was at her house. I would get the letters he would send to me. She wouldn't hide them from me as Grandmother Emma had done.
Ian and I would be brother and sister again. And maybe I wouldn't feel so alone.
7 My New Minder
. Alanis wasn't kidding about the woman in the candy store. She wore glasses so thick that they looked like a pair of goggles, and she didn't really look at us when she handed Alanis the cigarettes. After Alanis bought them, she went to a pay phone to call her granddad to come for us. I waited outside while she talked.
"I told him we were walking along because it's such a nice day, so don't mention the candy store and the cigarettes," she warned when she stepped out. We started walking. "You've got to think about everything you tell adults before you speak. Sometimes, they listen very closely and pick up on things. Always do what I do, count at least to five before you answer any questions. That will give you a little time to be sure you don't make mistakes and dig a hole for yourself."
She paused to look at me and I stopped walking, too.
"You come from a rich family, but you ain't rich right now and you're more alone than I am. girl. You better be listening to all the advice I give you. hear?"
I nodded, I didn't mean for her to think I wasn't listening, but I was thinking about so many other things while she talked. I wondered how I was ever going to visit my mother. Would my father take me in his special car? When would I ever speak to or see Grandmother Emma again? What if I hated it here, hated the school? Would my grandmother Emma let my father take me back? Would he want to?
"Now then," she continued as we walked on. "just because your family's scattered and broken, it don't mean you can't be happy and have fun. No one is exactly jealous of my life, but do I look like someone who mopes about all day? No," she said, answering for me before I could even think of it. "That's because I know how to look after number one. You know who number one is. right?"
"No," I said,
"Number one is you, girl. You have to be number one to yourself. Forget about everyone else, that brother in that place, your mother, who you can't help now, and your father, too, who ain't doing much to help you anyway. Your great-aunt lives on another planet. You and me ain't really that different. We both got to look out for ourselves."
She stopped again and I stopped. Her eyelids narrowed,
"I don't trust no one," she said. "but I'll take a big chance with you. You want to be more than a best friend? You want to be like my sister? Well?" she snapped.