No one would ever believe it. but I heard her. "Don't tell him." she whispered.
I smiled at her and nodded. Then I kissed her again and hurried out after Daddy.
We did visit her frequently, and her return began first in small ways and then in bigger and bigger ones as the memories started to reemerge in her brain.
"She's returning from a dark place." Mrs. Feinberg told me one time. "It's like climbing out of a deep hole into the light. There's more and more as you get higher and higher."
"I know," I said with such confidence that she pulled her head back. "She told me."
Everyone thought it was cute or funny, but I didn't care. I'm like Ian now, I thought. I know more than they do, and I'm comfortable about it. It doesn't matter what they think.
On Thursday of the following week. I was called out of class to the principal's office. All I was told was that my father was coming for me. I was surprised to see Felix actually come to sin me out.
"Your father's in the limousine," he said.
"Why didn't he drive himself in his special car?"
"He wanted me to drive him this morning, Jordan," he told me.
I hurried to get into the limousine. Daddy was sitting in the corner. waiting. Felix closed the door.
"Why are you taking me out of school. Daddy?" I asked him. "I'm afraid your grandmother has passed away, Jordan."
I'll never forget that for a moment I wondered whom he meant. Emma or Frances.
"Considering the limits to her recovery, it's probably for the best. My mother wasn't anyone who could accept anything less than perfection, especially for herself. I could almost guarantee you she decided her heart should stop. herself. She was always in charge. She would even tell Death what to do and when. Your great-aunt is being brought to the funeral," he added.
I didn't say anything.
We returned home, where we had a steady stream of visitors offering their condolences. Daddy wanted me at his side all the time. There were still many people alive who had been friends with my grandparents, even some former business associates from the steel company. Of course, there were all the people involved with all the charities Grandmother Emma had supported. It was. as Daddy would say, a true Who's Who. We even had a senator and two congressmen come to pay their respects.
I was impressed. but I waited eagerly for the arrival of Great- aunt Frances. No one was more important to me.
Felix brought her the day of the funeral. I was surprised at how good she looked. She had lost weight. Her hair was styled, and someone had helped her with her makeup, or else she'd finally realized how to do it conservatively so she wouldn't look silly.
She wore a very stylish black skirt, blouse and jacket. I imagined that whomever Daddy had gotten to be with her had been a really good influence.
She was really happy to see me, even more than Daddy or the mansion. I was full of questions for her about Alanis. Miss Puss. and Lester Marshall. She was overwhelmed by all the attention and by the mansion. Daddy was very nice to her. She looked at me almost every time he spoke to her. and I thought. She's wondering if I told himwhat Mrs. DeMarco told Alanis and me. I didn't know how to speak about it. I was afraid I would stir up the same sadness in her that had driven her to lock herself in the attic and take sleeping pills.
How hard it must have been for her to give away her baby and be forgotten.
We were too busy all day anyway, with the church service and the burial with the aftermath, for us to have any private conversation about it. and I had the sense that it was something better left unspoken, sort of like her saying, "No unhappiness, no bad news in this house."
The church was filled to capacity, and more people came to the mansion afterward. To me it seemed to become a big party, almost a celebration. It was catered, and for a while I thought it looked like one of those extravagant golden age parties
Grandmother Emma had been so proud to show us pictures of and describe. She would be pleased with my father, I thought, pleased with the man she'd kept her son, maybe dying to be sure she would never say otherwise.
So many people were introduced to Great-aunt Frances that I was sure she would remember no one. She obviously enjoyed the attention, however. She should, I thought, It'sway overdue. Loneliness was a shadow that would never fall over her again.
Toward early evening, the crowd of mourners thinned out until there was no one left but Felix. Nancy, Daddy, Great-aunt Frances and myself. Daddy expected that Great-aunt Frances would be very tired, but the activity seemed instead to have energized her. I thought she looked upset it was all over, in fact.
As I watched him talk to her. I realized, of course. that Grandmother Emma's passing meant she wouldn't be telling him the truth. I wondered what I should do.
Before the sun 1,went down. Daddy decided he needed some fresh air. Great-aunt Frances was eager to go out. too. I followed behind them, listening to Daddy's conversation. He had many questions about Grandmother Emma when she was a young girl. and Great-aunt Frances was happy to answer them. With Grandmother Emma gone, she was free now, I thought. She was unafraid.
But she was really not unkind. She said so many nice things about her sister that I wondered if she had made up the terrible ones, but then I thought about the truth and lies again. Great- aunt Frances was just too nice to say anything that might upset Daddy, I realized, Did that mean she was lying? Or did it mean she was more caring?
They got ahead of me on the walkway toward the pool area, passing gardens and fountains, weaving along through the hedges. Great-aunt Frances suddenly paused and began to wheel Daddy. I smiled to myself, wondering if she thought she was like a mother wheeling her child in a baby carriage. It was something she'd never gotten to do.