She guided me back to the sofa. "You ever see your brother naked?"
I shook my head.
"Any boy?"
"Pictures?"
I shook my head again.
"Where do you live, Never Never Land?"
"Bethlehem, Pennsylvania," I said, and she laughed.
"Okay, okay. I shouldn't laugh at you. I wasn't all that much more sophisticated than you are when it all happened to me. Let's get back to my story. So Danny loses the coin toss. He said heads and it was tails and he has to go first. He unzips his pants. I think he enjoyed it more than I did. I have to tell you I think I was in a little state of shock. I was like numb and I was all alone with him, too. He could deny everything and I couldn't prove it.
"That's why it's important you don't learn all this from a boy, Jordan. You get too surprised and you're off guard and they can take advantage of you. But how are you going to know what it's going to feel like? You can do it yourself, but you'll be afraid and you won't understand without someone older and experienced to tell you about it. That's why I can help you," she said, and put her hands under my skirt again.
As she manipulated my panties. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes. Where was Ian? What was that noise in the woods? Was it the black bear? Would I get lost if I ran out of here? Mama was going to be so angry and she was so furious already.
When she had my panties down again. I put my hand on hers to stop her from touching me.
"Relax. Don't be afraid. I'll take you home," Flora said. "Stop worrying about it. Think about what I'm trying to teach you, okay? Okay?"
I nodded and stopped pressing so hard on her hand.
"Close your eyes," she said. "Just lean back. Go on. I'm going to show you something and then we'll take you home."
Her fingers moved. My heart was pounding and the feelings I was getting in my chest moved like another hand, an invisible one, over my buds.
"See?" she said. "See how it makes you feel. See how you feel a little weak inside. Then the boy does this," she said, and this time. I screamed, jumped off the sofa so fast and hard. I bumped her head and she fell over and onto the coffee table. My panties weren't even pulled all the way up, but I charged for the door.
She screamed as I opened it.
"You idiot!" she shouted as she lifted herself off the table and held up the plastic tin. She had fallen over it and rolled over the table.
You ruined my butterfly!"
13 Fights
. Black bear or no black bear. I ran headlong and wildly across the field and back into the woods. Charging down the path I remembered taking to the camper. I took the best care I could not to run into another thorn bush. I kept my eyes fixed ahead because I was too frightened to look left or right. If anything was near me. I wouldn't hear it either. My ears were thunderous with the rush of my blood roari
ng through my veins. My side ached with the effort to run as fast as I could.
I was doing well until I was nearly home. Excited by the prospect of being safe. I didn't watch my steps. I tripped and went flying headlong into a pool of muddy water. Trying to break the fall with my hands out. I skinned my palms on some rocks. The instant I hit the ground. I rushed to get up, splashing the dirty water over my shoes and socks and lower legs. My dress was soaked with mud. I knew I was crying, even though I couldn't hear my sobs. Finally. I reached our cabin's backyard. Only then did I stop to catch my breath. I gasped and gasped, pressing my hands into my sides to see if I could stop the pain.
"What do you think you're doing, Jordan?" I heard, and looked to my right to see Ian coming out of the toolshed. He closed the door and gaped at me. "Where were you? What happened to you?"
I couldn't speak. Instead. I ran around to the front of the cabin. Our car was not there. Mama had not returned from her errand. I was both happy and unhappy about that. I didn't want her to set me like this, but I needed her, too. I needed her arms around me and her shoulder to cry on.
As soon as I entered the cabin. I took off my muddied shoes and socks so I wouldn't track dirt all over the floors. I heard Ian coming up the stairs outside, so I ran into the bathroom, carrying my shoes and socks. I closed and locked the bathroom door.
I was just too ashamed to face him, especially since he had told me to forget about Flora and Addison. I knew he would be angry. When I looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn't believe how filthy I was. The mud was even in my hair and down my neck. Now I was very happy Mama wasn't here to set it. She would surely cry at the sight of me.
Ian knocked on the door. "Jordan? Jordan, where were you? What happened to you?"
He tried the door and rapped it harder. 'Open the door, Jordan."
"Leave me alone, Ian. I have to get clean," I said.