But more terrible than anything for him would be learning she had taken his notebook, his secret thoughts, his Sister Project. And then she would go and tell him I said it was all true and he would think I had broken my oath. I couldn't let her do that, but what could I do to stop her?
I cried harder and then I threw I myself on my bed and buried my face in the pillow. All of it weighed so heavily on me, it felt like a dozen comforters had been cast over my body. I caught my breath and turned slightly, listening. The house was deadly quiet. What was Ian doing? What would I do?
My mind was in a turmoil, each thought sitting on a horse on a merry-go-round, spinning and spinning and spinning until I felt myself sink deeper and deeper into the two palms of warm exhaustion that eventually closed around me and locked me into sleep.
It was dark outside when I woke up. The lamp on the side table was lit and I heard some low murmuring voices. I turned and saw Grandmother Emma and Miss Harper speaking softly just inside the doorway of the bedroom. Slowly. I sat up and ground the sleep out of my eyes. Miss Harper saw and touched Grandmother Emma's arm. They both looked at me and then Grandmother Emma walked slowly to the bed.
"Are you hungry now?" she asked me. I wasn't, so I shook my head.
"You should eat something. Under the circumstances, now that I've learned the totality of all this, we have agreed to permit you to leave your room and resume your normal activities in the house. I want you to wash your face and then come down to the dining room, where Nancy will serve you some roast chicken, sweet potato, and vegetables. I have a nice piece of chocolate cream pie for you as well. Go on," she said, nodding at the bathroom.
"Is Ian coming to dinner, too?"
"No," she said sharply. "Don't concern yourself about Ian for now. Go on," she repeated with more firmness.
I slipped off the bed and went to the bathroom. When I came out, only Miss Harper was there waiting.
"Your grandmother will join us downstairs,'" she said. "'Come along,"
She smiled and held out her hand for me. I didn't want to take it, but she stood there, waiting, and I could see she wouldn't move from the door until I had taken her hand. As soon as I did, she tightened her fingers around my palm and we walked out of the room. I looked down the hallway toward Ian's room. The hallway was dark and there was no sign of him. She turned me abruptly at the top of the stairway and we went down to the dining room.
I saw there was no place setting where Ian sat. Nancy began bringing in platters and then
Grandmother Emma came in from her office and sat at the head of the table. She glanced at me and then turned to Miss Harper.
"You were right. He was very helpful and he's getting right on it for us."
"Yes, he's been a tremendous help to me whenever I had to make a similar recommendation to a parent."
"It's amazing how widespread the problem is in this country, so widespread there's a career for a man like that, an agent to place these children in the proper facilities. It's good, of course, but still, very sad as well."
"It is, but when you've gone through all the tried and true techniques and the parents themselves are so overwhelmed, there is often little choice. Of course, most people can't afford this sort of solution and that's why the streets are rampant with juvenile criminals."
"Yes, well, no March will be roaming the streets or committing such acts while I'm alive. Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't diagnosed the situation so quickly and gotten to the heart of the matter like a surgeon targeting a cancer."
"You're quite welcome, but I do feel sorry for the young man. Such brilliance misdirected."
"It doesn't surprise me when you consider the way he was raised. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. I am sorry to say my son bears a great deal of the blame. He closed his eyes to too many things while he pursued his own selfish satisfactions. Men," she added, and my eyes widened.
"Men," Miss Harper agreed, smiling. They both turned to me.
"You'll be all right now, Jordan," Grandmother Emma said. "You'll have Miss Harper all to yourself for the rest of the summer. I hope you'll come to appreciate what this means for you."
I gazed at Ian's empty place. "Isn't Ian ever going to be permitted to come out of his room?" I asked.
"Oh, he'll come out," Grandmother Emma said. "Soon enough, he'll come out. Now, let's eat before it all gets too cold.'
"Is Daddy all right?" I asked.
"Your father will never be all right,"
Grandmother Emma said, "but he will be the best he can be. I'll see to that," she said. "Now eat."
I had even less of an appetite than I had before, but under her and Miss Harper's critical gazing. I did the best I could. The food churned away in my stomach almost as soon as I swallowed any of it. At different moments during the dinner. I thought I wou
ld just start to heave, but I kept swallowing and drinking and finally finished enough for Grandmother Emma to permit Nancy to take my plate.
She brought out the dessert. It looked good, but I didn't want it either.