Daughter of Light (Kindred 2)
Page 99
I fell back against the large pillow and just lay there looking up at the ceiling. How many more incidents like this would occur before Liam and I were married? Would I always succeed in saving him, saving us? What about the collateral damage? Who else would be hurt? Does it take more courage to stay or to flee? I was dizzy with worry. After a few more minutes of calming myself, I rose and found the nightgown Julia had mentioned. Then I prepared for bed.
All of the beds in the guest rooms were king-size, with soft-as-marshmallow oversized pillows and soft comforters. I was looking forward to getting some sleep. We’d all sleep late, I thought, but Mrs. Wakefield would have what Mrs. Winston would call a proper breakfast prepared, and I was sure we’d have a good time laughing at one another. This would be forgotten. I snuggled up in that optimism and closed my eyes.
I don’t know how much time passed and how long I had been asleep, but when I first heard her, I thought it was merely a dream. I’d open my eyes wider and she’d pop like a bubble, but she didn’t. Ava was standing there, gazing down at me with that confident and condescending smile on her face. She had followed us after all. I sat up slowly, my very bones chattering.
“Feeling safe in this castle?” she asked.
“I won’t let you hurt anyone,” I said, gathering my courage. “I’m not your baby sister anymore.”
She widened her smile and nodded. “Think you’re that tough now, huh?”
“Why can’t you leave me alone? Is it because you wish you had done what I did and left?”
She laughed. “Hardly,” she said. “Why would I ever want to leave Daddy and leave who and what we are? You think I envy you? What a joke. What’s there to envy? Life here? Being stuck in some marriage with them as my family? How petty and small they are compared with us. They’ll have their sicknesses and their pains, their constant struggles to be happy. Not a day will pass without them finding something over which to worry, whether it’s their children or their spouses being faithful or the wrinkles in their faces. We soar above them. They are no more to us than chickens and fish are to them. And this is what you want to leave us for?”
“Yes,” I said firmly.
She lost her smug smile. “Haven’t you seen already that it’s quite impossible? Didn’t our little warnings ring bells in that thick, stupid skull of yours? Must we do more?”
“You do anything to hurt any of them and I’ll . . .”
“You’ll what, Lorelei? You fool. Once this family discovers who and what you are, you will come running back to us.” She paused and smiled again. “Only Daddy might not take you back. Then where will you be?”
I threw the comforter off myself and got out of the bed so I could face her. Every muscle in my body tightened and hardened. I stepped toward her.
“I’m warning you,” I said, keeping my eyes locked on hers. “You do anything to hurt me, and I will reveal everything about you.”
“And Daddy?” she asked with a cold, confident smirk.
“And Daddy,” I said, with a firmness that, like a wet washcloth, wiped the smirk off her face.
Her eyes widened, and she stepped back. It was the first time Ava had ever retreated from me.
“Do you think I would let you do that?” She raised her hands, her fingernails sharp and long like raccoon claws.
I didn’t move. My body tightened more. She looked as if she would lunge at me, but I stood my ground, and then, before either of us could do anything more, Daddy stepped out from the shadowed corner of the bedroom. Ava looked almost as surprised as I was. She stepped farther back as he came forward. All of the resistance I had mounted in my body seeped out. No matter how hard I fought it, the sight of him turned me back into a little girl. I lowered my eyes, afraid of the power of his. I didn’t look up until I felt his hand stroking my hair.
“Little Lorelei,” he said. “My little Lorelei. I’m so sorry we never spoke before you started your flight that day.”
He smiled down at me, that smile washing over me the way it always had, leaving me with a deep sense of calm and security. It was as if he could cut the whole world out, and there would be only the two of us.
“I could have reassured you. I don’t want you to believe I could ever do you harm,” he said, continuing to stroke my hair.
Ava looked even angrier, her jealousy overtaking her. I recalled how she was always envious of Daddy’s small ways of showing affection for me, whether it was with a smile or a gentle caress. Because of that, I did believe that he loved me more than he loved her or any of his other daughters. This sort of sibling rivalry for Daddy’s love didn’t exist for them. It was only Ava who felt it with me, and Daddy knew. He knew, but he didn’t chastise her in my presence, nor did he temper the way he favored me.
I felt the tears well up in my eyes. His words were like the tentacles of an octopus wrapping around me and pulling me toward him. It was futile to resist. When he kissed me on the forehead, those tears broke free. All of those little-girl years were rushing back, our walks, my hand in his, his voice melodic, soothing as he wove together our history, the beautiful places he had been, and the things he had seen. How magical it had been and how special I had felt. He was everything, my daddy, my world.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I said, sounding like a little girl again. “I couldn’t stay and be what you wanted me to be.”
“I know,” he replied, surprising me. I saw that Ava was also surprised. “I knew there was something different about you. It happens once in a while over the course of a hundred years. I was hoping it wasn’t so. My fault. My love for you was so great that I ignored what I knew and felt.”
He shrugged. Ava came forward. She was shaking her head. She didn’t want to hear this. I knew what she wanted. She wanted him to rage at me, to threaten and maybe even destroy me. The disappointment only hardened and angered her more. I could see that Daddy felt her fury growing. He turned to her and with a glance stopped her and sent her stepping back. Then he turned back to me. His smile was gone.
“I know I shouldn’t have called upon others to help send you back to us. I knew you would resist. I can feel your resistance even now,” he added.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I can’t help it,” I said.
“No, you can’t,” he said, nodding. “You can’t resist what’s stronger in you, just as Ava here can’t resist what’s stronger in her. The two of you are on the opposite sides of the same powerful force.