I looked through the door. All I saw from where I was standing was the foot of a bunk. What was the room, just
a solitary confinement? I'll get through it. I thought. I'll show them.
The sting was singing louder, however, and the churning that had begun in my stomach turned into nausea. I faltered and M'Lady One came to my side and kept me from falling.
"This is going to be good,- she said. The Ice Room on top of it all. I tell you. Phoebe. I couldn't do it"
"Me neither," M'Lady Two said. "Glad it's you and not me."
"You're all a bunch of wimps," M'Lady Three said. "Phoebe's going to show you up. Aren't you. Phoebe? Girl of the streets, tough."
"I think I'm going to throw up," I said.
'Get her in there before she does. I hate the smell," M'Lady Two said stepping back.
M'Lady One twisted my arm and pushed me through the doorway. There was a bunk, but at the head of it, there was what looked like a helmet with wires attached.
"What is this?"
"We've told you before. It's your worst nightmare," M'Lady One said.
I tried to resist, but her hold was so firm. I thought her fingers would break through my skin and flesh. She turned me into the room, and together she and M'Lady Three forced me to lie down.
"I'm sick!" I screamed. "I need a doctor. medicine!"
They put the helmet over my head and strapped it on tightly. I resisted but I couldn't keep my arms from being straightened and then a strap was fixed over my chest, just under my breasts. It was just as it had been when I'd woken up in the plane that had brought me to this hell.
A visorlike part of the helmet was lowered over my face. It was dark and their voices grew more muffled because of the earphones over my ears.
"Enjoy," I heard, and heard them leave the room, closing the door behind them. Their voices drifted away and there was only silence.
What was this? A helmet over my head with a visor to keep me in the dark and in the quiet? It was stupid. The coffin was worse, I thought, This isn't so bad except I felt so sick and the pain was still as sharp as ever in my foot. I was getting hot, too, and it wasn't just from the stuffiness in the room. I knew I was developing a fever. The nausea built up until I started to vomit. but I could only turn my head a little to spit to the side. Finally, that stopped, but it left me feeling so tired, so weak.
I'll just sleep, I thought.
I'll beat them. I'll sleep and get better and beat them. This wasn't so terrible.
Ice Room?
There was nothing icy about the Ice Room. It was just as I had suspected. a lot of intimidation, a lot of scary talk and nothing else. Robin just couldn't take being locked up and strapped down and forced to be in darkness. I'm stronger than she is. I can wait it out. I'm stronger than the whole lot of them, even the buddies. I told myself. I am special. Dr. Foreman was right about that.
I'll sleep. I assured myself. I'll sleep and I'll get better. Keep telling yourself that. Phoebe. I chanted. You'll get better. You'll beat them. Think about something goad. Think about Wind Song and Natani and the beautiful desert sky and the horizon and tomorrow. Tomorrow, yes, getting out of here, getting away from here. Remember what he said about the hogan. Don't let them into your house. I wouldn't.
I can do this. I can win, I thought, And then.
It began.
9
Dr. Foreman's Spy
.
At some point your screaming becomes so
high-pitched it seems to be coming from someplace else. It's like someone else is screaming in the distance and you can barely hear it, but that sensation doesn't happen immediately. First, you practically blow out your lungs with the effort and your vocal cords strain and you grow hoarse.
It all began with the sound I heard through the earphones in the strange helmet, an all too familiar squeaky sound that quickly built into a horrific chorus, First. I could hear only one, then another and another until I knew there was a pack of them.