He smiled. “I figured any girl who could take it and give it back like you did had to like me.”
“Weird logic.”
“I know.”
We kissed again, his lips moving over my chin and onto my neck. A voice inside me was clamoring, This is too fast. Calm down. Yet I didn’t push him away. I held him tighter and searched for his lips again and again. His breathing was outracing mine.
“Ryder,” I said softly.
“I dreamed of you in my bed just like this,” he whispered.
He worked my blouse over my head, unfastened my bra, and gently dropped my clothes over the side of the bed. Then, with his kisses, he carved a trail between my breasts, over them, and down my stomach.
There was a shouting match going on inside me now, caution against passion. I made small attempts to stop, but they grew weaker and weaker. I felt as though I were chained, handcuffed by my own overwhelming desire.
He stood up and fumbled with his own clothing, throwing it off as if it was his clothes that were on fire and not him. When he started to bring himself back to me, I put up my hand.
“Ryder, I don’t want to end up like your sister did.”
He smiled and opened the drawer on the nightstand beside his bed to pluck out a contraceptive. I think the sight of it so handy had what most would think was an unexpected reaction in me. I knew Kiera and her friends would think the boy they were
with was sophisticated enough for them to be with him. From the way they talked, they wanted nothing to do with innocent young men. But the thought that threw cold water over me was the possibility that Ryder had brought other girls here, right to this very place, and was always prepared.
“Wait,” I said, moving to get my panties and jeans on.
His smile slowly fell away like a leaf descending. Confusion and disappointment rushed into his lips and his eyes. Before he could ask anything, my cell phone rang. I fumbled with my jeans, scooped up my blouse and bra, and snatched the phone out of my bag. It was Jordan.
“Where are you?” she asked, as if she could see for miles and through house walls.
“I’m still at Ryder Garfield’s home. I’ve been invited to dinner here. They’re having lobster fra diavolo.”
I turned my back to Ryder. He started to dress.
“I remember you love it, but Donald would like you home for dinner,” she said.
“Why?”
“I don’t know his reason, Sasha, but he was very adamant about my calling you to tell you. Please do as he wishes.”
I looked at Ryder. He had his pants on but was sitting on the bed, holding his shirt and glaring down at the floor. His face was still quite flushed, as I imagined was mine.
“Okay,” I said.
“Is everything all right?”
“Yes,” I snapped.
She had never heard that tone in my voice. It gave her pause. “Drive carefully,” she said, and hung up. I held the phone for a moment and then flipped it closed and finished dressing. Ryder didn’t speak. He just sat there staring at the floor.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He looked up at me, his eyes narrowing. Then he held up the contraceptive between his thumb and forefinger. “This spooked you?”
I didn’t answer. I kept dressing.
“What, would you rather I didn’t use it?”
“No, of course not,” I said.