Or would the baby end up like me, I wondered, lost and alone, forever looking for a home. I hoped Mary Margaret's lover was a responsible person.
She looked at me as if the idea was fantastic, not only the idea of a man taking care of her, but that a man had made her pregnant. Maybe she thought hers was an immaculate conception.
"You were with a man, weren't you? It wasn't more than one, was it? You know who the father is, don't you?" I asked all my questions in rapid fire, each one being born out of another fear.
"I don't want to talk about it," she said.
"What about the baby? Are you going to go through with it and have the baby?"
"I've got to," she said.
"What? Why?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Please, go away."
"Why do you have to have it? Is it because of your religious beliefs?"
"No," she said.
"Then what is it?"
"He's making me have it."
"Who?"
"Please, leave me alone," she said and started to cry again. She turned her head from me and I put my hand on her shoulder.
"Maybe I can help you," I said.
She looked back at me, with her small fists grinding the tears from her eyes.
"How can you help me? You're just an orphan girl from America. You can hardly help yourself. They sent you here because no one wanted you there." "Who told you that?"
"It doesn't matter," she said. "Please, just leave me be. I can't get into any more trouble."
"It's not all your fault, Mary Margaret," I said. She shook her head and turned away again. "You shouldn't be thrown out on the street. They have no right to be so uppity. They're not so pure and good back there!'
She kept her head turned away, her eyes down.
"I know what you've been doing in the cottage," I said softly.
This time her head whipped around so fast, I thought it might snap off her neck.
"What?"
"I saw you and Mr. Endfield through the window one night."
She shook her head, trying to deny it.
"I saw you dressed as a little girl and I saw and heard how he pretended you were his daughter."
"You mustn't tell anyone," she gasped, her hand on her throat.
"Don't worry, I won't. He's changed the cottage and he had me go there to pretend to be his daughter, too, only grown up."
Her eyes widened.
"He has?"