Rain (Hudson 1)

"Oh and you do, of course. You know it all," she said, her eyes full of fire and tears. "My friends are right about you. I can't talk to you anymore," she declared and went into the bathroom, slamming the door.

Was I wrong? Was I too particular, a Miss Prissy? Was I afraid of boys? Maybe Mama's warnings had too dramatic an effect on me. I wished I could talk to her about it all, but I knew Beni would be even more furious if I revealed any details of her budding romance.

"I'm not trying to ruin your happiness, Beni," I said when she came out to the kitchen. She puttered around, sullenly setting the table. "I mean it," I said.

She slapped a dish down so hard, it almost shattered and then she put her hands on her hips and turned to me.

"Okay, if you mean it then don't spoil my good times," she said. "I want to go to Alicia's Friday night to meet Carlton. She's having a party. Mama won't let me go unless you say it's just a bunch of girls getting together. She won't let me sleep over if I ask but she'll believe you. Are you going to help me or what?"

"You're making a mistake, Beni," I warned.

"If I make a mistake, it's my mistake, not yours, Rain. Well, are you going to help me with Mama or not?"

I was silent for a moment. "Well?"

"Okay," I said, tired of the bickering. "Maybe it's better you learn things for yourself."

"Good." After I gave in, she became more enthusiastic about getting dinner prepared.

"Just stay away from Oh Henry's. Please," I said. "Okay, but Carlton said Jerad really thought you were pretty," she revealed.

"What do you mean?" I gasped. "Why were you talking about me?"

"I'm just telling you what Carlton said. Jerad thought you were fine."

"I'd rather get a compliment from

Frankenstein," I told her.

She shrugged.

"Everyone's afraid of Jerad around here."

"That doesn't make him some kind of hero. That makes him dangerous and even uglier to me," I said to her.

"At least no one puts him down," she said. "Even the police stay out of his way."

She returned to our bedroom to call her girlfriends with the good news, and I suddenly felt this terrible sense of doom. It was as if a dark cloud had slipped in under the window and pasted itself to the ceiling of our apartment, just waiting to drop its belly of cold rain on our pathetic little world.

Two days later, it almost happened. We were returning home from school. Now that Beni was satisfied that I would support her request to go to Alicia's on Friday night, her girlfriends backed off and there were no more confrontations with me in school. They looked arrogant and pleased with themselves as if they had won some important battle.

I didn't really have many close friends at school. I had never slept over anyone else's house. Boys did ask me out on dates, but like Beni stated, I never had anyone I could call a boyfriend, and just about all of them had stopped pursuing me. I spent most of my time with Lucy Adamson, a girl in my class who was at least twenty pounds overweight. She was very bright and very shy and from time to time we studied together, but I didn't tell her any personal things, and especially didn't talk to her about Beni and me.

On Thursday after school, Beni and I started out for home, as usual. Since I had agreed to help her with Mama, she returned to her old self, pouring out a continuous stream of conversation, telling me about Carlton and his likes and dislikes, his favorite music, even his favorite foods. I realized she was really infatuated with him. In a way I found myself being a little envious. It was as if feeling so strongly about a boy had changed the nature of her world, had put color into the drab grays that surrounded her. Her voice was lighter, running through with excitement, full of bells and music. She talked about her hair and her clothes and wished aloud that she could wear some of my things.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we were closer in size, Rain? Why did I have to be born with such big hip bones and look how dainty your shoulders are. My shoulders belong on a football player," she moaned.

"Oh, that's not true, Beni. You can't have everyone looking the same anyway. You have a nice figure. I know a lot of girls who would like to look like you."

"Yeah? Who? Lucy Adamson?" she asked.

"Exactly, and many more."

"You really think I'm pretty, Rain?"

"Yes, I do, and I'm not just saying that because you're my sister, Beni. You have beautiful eyes."

"Mama never tells me that."