Rain (Hudson 1)

She paused and I took a deep breath. So Ken wasn't my real father. I couldn't help being relieved about that. I was afraid he had had some affair with a white girl and brought me home, forcing Mama to bring me up as her own.

"Anyhow, Ken was working for her father and he came to Ken and made the proposal that we take the child, who was you, of course. You were to be born in secret somewhere. 'Course, Ken got excited over the idea of so much money just for taking in another baby. What did he care? He was never home much anyway."

"You could just take in a baby, just like that, and pretend it was your own?" I asked skeptically.

"I was angry and I didn't want to do it, but Ken he just brought you home and I wasn't going to throw a baby out into the street, so I mothered you and here we are. It's long over and done, Rain. I swear I don't even think of it. We all love you, honey. I'm hoping you can just accept things as they are now; we are your family," she said.

"Did my real mother ever come to see me?" I asked.

"Oh no, honey. We haven't seen hide nor hair of those folks since the day they brought you here. Not even a phone call," she added.

It gave me a sick feeling to hear that. How could anyone give away her own baby so easily and forget her forever?

"They made us promise not to contact them, ever," Mama added.

"They didn't want to set eyes on you because you had a black father," Beni said gleefully.

"Hush up, Beth. That's putting salt on a wound."

"Why are you always protecting her, Mama? Even now you're more worried about her feelings than your own. Jesus, Mama, she ran out on you. She thinks you're a liar," Beni insisted. "Why are you taking her side and yelling at me?"

"I'm not taking anyone's side, Beni."

"Beth's right, Mama," I said softly. "I shouldn't have run out on you and made you sick. It wasn't your fault my real mother gave me away."

I looked up at her, my eyes burning with hot tears. "You gave me more than I deserve. I was wrong to be angry at you, Mama. I'm sorry."

"Don't you start crying now, Rain," Mama said sniffling herself.

I stepped forward when she held out her arms and embraced her. When I gazed back at Beth, I saw her look of pain.

"I hope you'll still think of me as your sister, Beni," I said stepping back.

"'Course, she will," Mama answered for her.

"Do I have a choice?" Beni quipped. She walked out of the bedroom.

I turned back to Mama.

"I'm worried about what Ken's doing," she said. "I think he's going off to try to blackmail those people and they aren't people you blackmail."

"I'd like to know who they are, Mama," I said.

"It will just bring you more pain, honey."

"Does my mother still live in Washington, D.C.?" I asked.

"I really don't know for sure."

"Can't you tell me her name, Mama?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't want to know, Rain. It's like going to those fancy stores and looking in the windows at beautiful things you can't have. It makes it harder to accept who you are and what you've got."

"I'll always wonder, Mama. I can't help it," I said.

She nodded and rose slowly from the bed. She went to the closet and brought out an old shoe box. After she opened it, she sifted through some papers and then found what she was looking for. She gazed at it for a moment.

"She's probably married with a different name now," Mama said handing the slip of paper to me.