Rain (Hudson 1)

"That's one great woman," he added nodding toward her bedroom. "She never thinks of herself, only of us." His face hardened. "That's why I hate him," he added. "He's never thought of anyone but himself. Good riddance to him. If I never see him again, it will be too soon."

How could I bear the thought of Roy leaving? With Beni gone, it seemed like the end of our little family. I started to cry softly. He turned and wrapped his arms around my waist and put his head gently against my hip.

He held me for the longest time and then he rose and went into his own room, leaving me without saying another word.

I straightened out the chairs and cleaned up the mess the best I could before returning to bed.

By the time I woke the next morning and washed and dressed, Mama was at the table, her hands around a mug of coffee. She looked like she had been there for hours and she looked so tired and thin. The events of the last few weeks had aged her. Her hair was grayer and there were dark bags under her eyes.

"Good morning, Mama," I said.

She lifted her eyes as if they were heavy as lead and gazed at me while she took a deep breath.

"Where's Roy?" I asked.

"Gone to work," she said. "He didn't want breakfast. He said he'd get something at the garage."

"Last night, after the fight, he told me he was going to join the army. He said it was your idea. Was it, Mama?" She nodded.

"If he stays here, he'll die. You saw what happened last night. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I'm only glad it wasn't worse."

"Did Ken come home?" I asked looking toward the bedroom.

"No," she said straightening firmly in her chair, "and if he does, I'm throwing him out," she said. "I've made up my mind about that. Get yourself some orange juice and something to eat, Rain. I want to talk to you," she said.

Her voice seemed to have the ring of doom in it. My heart started to beat quickly, and my fingers fumbled and nearly dropped the container of orange juice. I sipped some and sat across from her.

"I'm better, Mama," I said. "I'll be returning to school on Monday," I added, thinking that was what was upsetting her too.

"I hope not," she said.

"What?"

"I hope you never go back to that school, Rain. The trouble's never going to end there. Never." She sipped some coffee.

I hadn't thought much about the dire comments Mama had made at the hospital because she never mentioned them during the week, but suddenly those words came rushing back like words spoken in an old dream, words you wanted desperately to forget and never hear again, but words that lingered in the darkest closets of your memory.

"You and I have a lunch date today," she continued.

"Lunch date? With whom, Mama?"

"With the woman who is your real mama, Rain. I've been calling her all week and finally, I got to speak with her. She wasn't jumping for joy when I told her what I wanted, but I could hear the curiosity in her voice. She wants to have a look at you. It's only natural."

"Natural?" I spit back. "What would she know about being natural? She sold me, didn't she?"

"Well, she didn't have much choice, I imagine. That's a story she going to have to tell you herself. I can't speak for her. I never spoke with her before or her daddy. Ken did all the talking in those days. I told you, I wasn't for it in the beginning, but once I took a gander at you, I wasn't going to turn you away."

"You want to do that now though, don't you?" I charged. The anger that rose and put fire in my eyes stung her, but she didn't flinch.

"I don't want to, no. But what I do want is for you to be safe and healthy. I want you to have the best things and I want you to become someone, Rain. You've got something up here," she said pointing to her temple. "Why, there's nothing you can't become if you set your mind to it, I bet."

"But Mama..."

"But what, honey? Look around you," she said holding her arms out and nodding at our run-down apartment. "What can I give you, huh? What's here? I know what's waiting for you out there and it scares me to death to think of it. I got your brother set on leaving and I'm glad. In my heart I'm glad even though I hate to see him go. I need to do something-for you too, Rain, before it's too late."

"I can't leave you, Mama. You're throwing Ken out. Roy will be gone. Beni's dead. You'll be all alone," I said shaking my head.

"No, I won't. I'm going to go live with my aunt Sylvia in Raleigh. She's all alone now with Uncle Clarence gone and she would welcome my company," she said.