An idea came to me, a vision so clear and powerful that I had to wonder if it hadn't been delivered by some supernatural power. Still, I hesitated, reluctant to act because of the trust my aunt Zipporah had in me. She was relieved to know I was here and probably asleep, but I couldn't help myself in the end. I had to go. What was drawing me to do so was far more powerful than anything else. It had to be obeyed.
How vain and futile my promising not to get any more involved would have been!
I got back into her car, started the engine, thought about it once more and then backed out and drove off. I wasn't even sure I knew where I was going or if I would find what I hoped to find. I was truly like a blind person navigating in the darkness, guided only by her sense of purpose and her faith in the power that urged her forward.
I drove quickly and then very, very slowly, searching the side of the road, looking for that small, almost impossible-to-discover opening. Cars whizzed by me. Drivers behind me were annoyed with my pace and leaned on their horns, but I was determined. Finally, I found it and turned into the narrow road that, I recalled, led to a gravel one and then just bushes. Once I did, the night seemed to envelop me, even making my headlights appear dimmer and weaker. An inky octopus woven out of deep shadows wrapped itself snugly around my aunt's car. Panic seized me when I realized how difficult it would be to turn around and drive out again. I would have to back up very carefully, and if I got stuck out here, my uncle and aunt would be so upset when they heard my explanation.
I was about to give up and try hacking out carefully when the headlights peeled away the darkness to reveal Duncan's scooter. A wave of delight and satisfaction rushed through me. Whatever it was that had brought me here--my intuition, third eye, spirit, whatever--had not disappointed me. I kept the engine running and the lights on and stepped out of the car.
"Duncan!" I shouted and waited. "It's Alice. Where are you? Duncan!"
Except for the sound of the car engine, I heard nothing. He's sulking, I thought. He won't answer and after I went through all this trouble to find him. It made me angry again.
"Duncan, damn it, answer me!"
I took a few steps toward the bushes and listened. I could hear the river working its way around rocks and boulders, sliding along the shoreline, but nothing else. He heard me, I thought. He had to have heard me. I considered returning to the car and keeping my hand on the horn until he stepped out of the bushes. When we had come here that first time, he'd had to use a flashlight to find his way between the bushes himself.
Listen, Alice, I told myself, if he doesn't want to see you, he doesn't want to see you. Why push yourself on him.? Let it go. Listen to your aunt's advice. Just make your way back and go to sleep. You have your own problems.
I actually started to turn back to the car before I hesitated again to listen for him. I did hear something.
Was that a rustling in the bushes? Had he finally decided to confront me? The sound weakened as it went off to the right. It could have been some animal, a raccoon or something, I thought.
Frustrated, I turned back to the bushes. Using whatever illumination spilled from the car's
headlights, I located what I believed was the start of an opening in the heavy overgrowth. It wasn't until I stepped deeply in that I realized it was a false portal. The bushes were even thicker. The branches caught on my clothes and I felt one scratch my right forearm. I winced and cried out from the pain, now cursing and babbling my anger toward him
"I'm not exactly a mountain climber or a hiker, Duncan. You're not being much of a gentleman leaving me out here like this. Where are you? I need you to show me the way. Duncan!"
Something did slither beneath my feet and I screamed. Were there bad snakes here?
I turned to go back and found that the bushes had closed around me. I wasn't sure now which way to head, and I was too far from the glow of the headlights to benefit from the illumination. I struggled as carefully and as gracefully as I could to separate branches to keep them from catching onto my clothing and scratching my arms, even my neck and face. The more I traveled, the more lost and trapped I became. I tried to keep myself calm. I knew that if I panicked in the darkness within these wild bushes, I would do more damage to myself and might even seriously entangle myself.
The rain began, very slowly at first, forming drops out of the mist and then becoming a slow drizzle. Lightning sliced the dark sky, and a roll of thunder echoed over the river. My hair quickly became drenched.
I asked myself how I had ended up in here. H
ow had I been so pigheaded and stupid? You deserve this, I told myself. Maybe you'll learn a good lesson.
I continued to part the branches and find small openings in the bushes. I wasn't sure I was anywhere near the place Duncan had showed me when we came here, but I worked myself forward, until finally I realized I had come upon the border of the clearing he had made beside the river. I stepped out of the bushes, wiped the rain from my forehead and eyes and tried to see through the darkness, discover his silhouette somewhere.
I didn't see him, and I was struck by the possibility that while I'd been working my way through the heavy brush, he had picked up and left, not even caring that I had come here looking for him. Once again, I berated myself for being such a damn fool. I crossed the clearing and looked at the river. Raindrops were pounding away at the surface. Fortunately, it was a warm downpour, but I would soon be soaked to the skin.
"Duncan!" I called out. "Are you still here? Duncan?"
I listened and waited, now hearing the sound of the rain falling through the trees and over the water. I was about to turn to find my way back to the car when a sizzling flash of lightning, much closer to me, revealed someone in the water, someone who looked like Duncan. I gasped and walked closer to the river's edge.
Another shaft of lightning wiggled though the dark sky, and I could see him bobbing against some rocks a few feet off the shore.
"Duncan!" I screamed.
Blinded now by the heavier downpour, I waved my hands back and forth in front of my eyes like some sort of a human windshield washer. Not even bothering to take off my shoes, I stepped into the river and waded to the place where I had seen him bobbing among the rocks.
When I drew closer, I saw he was lying on his back, his head held out of the water because his body was jammed between some rocks. His lower legs and feet were under the water. His eyes were closed, but his mouth was slightly opened. I shuddered both from the cold water and the sight of him.
"Duncan!" I cried. I reached out to touch his face. The water made his skin feel icy.
Was he dead?