"No. Frances told me with an air of certainty that couldn't be challenged. We stood down by the dock late one afternoon, just before the sun set, and she said-- I'll never forget it because of how she put it-- she said. 'We've gone and done it up good. Jake.' Of course. I didn't know what she meant.
"'What's that mean. Frances?' I asked.
''I've got a cake in my oven.' she said. That's what she said. Some cake. 'Too much unbridled passion.' she added. 'passion that makes you throw caution to the wind.'
"I was stunned. I just stood there playing with a stick in the water and watching the ripples and thinking. What's going to be?
"'Of course. we won't see each other that way anymore. Jake. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I needed you so much.' she told me and walked away.
"I felt like everything had evaporated inside me. I felt like a shell. Any minute a wind would come sailing over the water, lift me like a kite, and blow me over the trees.
"I guess in a way it did because soon after that I joined the navy."
He sat there silently, staring down at his plate and his empty wineglass and then he closed his eyes.
"I never loved anyone but Frances." he continued. "I couldn't.
It was like I was given just enough love fuel for one woman and I used it all on her. I returned to work for her just so I could be around her.
"Sometimes, when I drove her places. I'd pretend I wasn't her hired driver. I'd imagine we were man and wife and I was taking her somewhere just the way any husband would take his wife some place. If Victoria went along, I even imagined I was like any other husband and father."
Everyone spends time in his or her fantasies. I thought. Everyone.
"Does Victoria have any idea? Did
Grandmother Hudson ever tell her?"
"Oh no. no." Jake said quickly. "But that's why I wanted you to know, to have this information. When and if she has you up against the wall, you can fling it at her and I'll be there to verify it.
"They got ways to test the blood and prove it beyond a doubt, you know. She'll know that so she won't be so sure of herself. It will knock her off that high pedestal," he promised.
"It would be revealing Grandmother Hudson's secret. too. I don't know if I could ever do that. Jake."
"Sure you can. If the time comes, you'll do it. You knew her well enough to know she wouldn't mind," he said confidently.
"Wow," I said shaking my head. "Talk about skeletons in the closet. The closets here should be rattling."
He laughed.
"I'd better get going.' he said. "I got to get up early and head for Richmond to pick them up at the airport."
"Don't you want some coffee. first?" I wanted him to have coffee because he had drunk so much wine, but it didn't seem to faze him.
"No. Thanks. This was a great meal. You want me to help you clean up?"
"No, Jake. I'm very experienced at it. remember?" I said referring to my days at
Grandmother Hudson's sister's home in London, as well as my days here.
"Right. Okay. MaybeI'll see you some time in the afternoon when I bring them around."
"Oh, are they staying overnight?" I asked quickly. "No. I'm taking them back for a nine o'clock flight."
Good. I thought. Jake kissed me on the cheek and left. When the door closed behind him, the emptiness of the great house settled around me like some dark cloud. The thickness of the night still heavily overcast turned the windows into mirrors flashing my image back to me as I crossed through the rooms. The wind was still strong enough to make parts of the house creak and groan. Just to have other sounds floating through. I turned on the television set and found a music channel. I made it loud enough to hear while I cleaned up the dining room and then the kitchen.
Afterward. I returned to the d
en and watched some television until my eyelids felt heavy and I caught myself dozing on and off. I'll sleep well tonight. I thought, but the tension over tomorrow's family meeting slipped in beside me as I walked up the stairs. By the time my head hit the pillow, there was static in the air crackling around me, and with its tiny sparks of lightning, scorching my brain.