Misty (Wildflowers 1)

"'It's fine,' I said. Ariel then went through this ridiculous tour of the room, actually showing me hangers and drawers and then leading me to the bathroom to catalogue all the things she had purchased with Daddy's money for me.

"'Let me know if there's anything you're missing,' she concluded.

"I wanted to let her know. I wanted to tell her yes, there is one small thing I'm missing . . . a normal life. You know what that is, Ariel? It's having both your parents at home, there for you, planning things with you, giving you advice together, eating together, laughing together, talking about relatives and thinking about parties and birthdays and holidays, being there with you when you go off to college, maybe even accompanying you and saying good-bye and holding hands and looking at you with pride before they walked off together, my father's arm around my mother, the two of them feeling like they've accomplished something with their lives, dreaming of my wedding and my children. I'm missing albums, Ariel, filled with pictures of family, together on vacations, at graduations.

"Have any of that in your back pocket, Ariel?

"That's what I wanted to say, but I kept my lips glued shut and just shook my head and swallowed down my anger and disappointment.

" hope you like what we ordered for dinner,' she went on. 'I made sure to get one of everything, just in case. There's a shrimp dish and a chicken dish and a vegetarian dish and a beef dish.'

"Daddy laughed behind us. He had been hovering over us like some anxious referee, ready to leap between us at merely the suggestion of something unpleasant.

"'She tries to think of everything,' he said.

"Ariel smiled back at him. I hated that worship I saw in her eyes. It wasn't that I didn't want anyone to like Daddy so much. I just didn't want to witness someone loving him more than me or my mother, I suppose.

"That's what you kind of agreed that I thought, right, Doctor Marlowe?"

"Kinda," she said with her inscrutable smile.

"Dinner didn't go over too well. I didn't have much of an appetite, even though the food did smell good. The sides of my stomach felt stuck together like those dumb plastic bags in the supermarket. I could barely get a few bites into it. Ariel didn't seem to notice. She ate for the both of us. Mommy would curse her for being able to eat so much and keep her figure, I thought. It was funny how I couldn't help but consider Mommy's point of view about all this.

"I found out that Ariel was a secretary in one of the companies Daddy's company had bought. She was from Santa Barbara, had gone to a small business school and then had gotten placed by one of those

temp agencies into a job that developed into a longtent' position. She went on and on like someone who was terrified of even a moment of silence at the table. I learned she had an older brother who was trying to become an airline pilot. Her father worked as a mechanic for Delta and her mother was a dental hygienist.

"'That's why Ariel has such perfect teeth,' Daddy pointed out.

"She did have teeth that belonged in a toothpaste commercial, perfectly straight, milk white.

"She giggled and gave him her hand. Daddy's eyes shifted guiltily toward me and then to her and she withdrew her hand quickly. I imagined he had told her to cool it while I was there. I saw it made her even more nervous and she was off and running again, talking about her favorite foods, colors, clothes, searching wildly for something in common with me.

"I sat like a lump.

"'Well, what should I do with my two best girls tonight?' Daddy asked.

"'Maybe we should go to a movie,' Ariel said.

"'I'm tired, Daddy. You two go. I just want to curl up in bed and read a little and watch some television.'

"'Really?' He sounded like he couldn't believe his good luck.

"'Yes,' I said. I half-expected they would put up more of an argument, but they accepted my plan.

"Ariel didn't want my help in cleaning up.

"'You go spend time with your father,' she said. 'That's what you're here to do.'

"Daddy and I sat in the living room. He talked about the apartment, some of the changes he wanted to make in the decor, and he credited Ariel with coming up with all the good ideas. I knew that was a lie, but lies were truly like flies to me now. I just batted them away or ignored them.

"Our conversation went back to a discussion of my schoolwork. He asked me what I wanted to do, what I wanted to become, and I felt like I was sitting in the office with my guidance counselor.

" don't know,' I said when Ariel joined us, her face full of forced interest, like it was suddenly the most important thing in the world to her to know what I wanted to do with my life. 'Maybe I'll go to business school and get a job through a temp agency and meet a nice man like you, Daddy,' I said.

"He sat there with this dead smile glued to his face as if I had just hit him on the side of the head with a rock. Ariel's hands fluttered about like two small, terrified birds, settling finally on top of each other and pressed between her beautifully shaped breasts.

"'Well,' Daddy said, 'I guess maybe you are a little tired. It's emotionally exhausting, I know. We'll do something nice tomorrow, maybe go down to the yacht club and take a boat ride and then have a nice lunch. How's that sound? We haven't done that for a while, have we?'