"'My mother says the same thing about me,' I moaned.
"So . . . maybe you should come with me,' he said and I thought, why not?
"'Maybe I will,' I said.
For a long moment, we just stared at each other and he could see in my eyes that I was really going to do it.
"'Pack a really small bag,' he said without a beat. I hesitated one short moment and then ran into the house to stuff my backpack.
"That was the hardest part, deciding what I wanted to take with me. I mean there were some essential clothes to take and a pair of boots and a pair of shoes, but of all the things you own, of all the things you've been given, what would you choose if you could take only a very few things, and of course, nothing large or heavy?
"Suddenly nothing seemed as important as it had been. All the things my parents had given me were just things. There was one doll, my first real doll, the one I kept on the bed, a soft rag doll. I took that, but I didn't take any jewelry. I should have probably. We could have used the money if I sold it. I grabbed a toothbrush and a hairbrush and turned in circles trying to decide what else, what else mattered?
"Lloyd began to honk his horn. I scooped my leather jacket out of the closet, took one last look at my room, the room that had been my whole world for so much of my life. These walls held all my secrets, had seen all my tears and heard me whisper all my fears.
"Good-bye,' I whispered and ran down the stairs. I didn't even look back and I didn't leave my mother a note or anything,
"I stepped out, slipped on my backpack and hurried to get behind Lloyd on the motorcycle. He turned his head and smiled at me and we took off. My heart was thumping so hard and fast, I was afraid I might faint and fall into the street. I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life. It was mostly cloudy and very breezy that day. The wind whipped through my hair and blasted my face, but I didn't think about the weather or anything. I really thought I was free, free of all the static, free of all the hate and pain. I dreamed I wouldn't write or call my parents for years and then, when I did, they could do nothing but accept what had happened and where I was.
"It wasn't exactly comfortable sitting on the back of that small motorcycle for hours and hours. We rode through a short rain shower and it got cooler fast. Finally, we stopped at a roadside restaurant for dinner and counted up the money we had together. I had scooped up all I had in my dresser drawer, but it wasn't much.
"Lloyd thought it was warm enough for us to spend the first night at least sleeping off the road. It was still quite an adventure for me, so I didn't mind cuddling up in his arms under a small bridge. We talked ourselves to sleep, making all sorts of plans. Maybe I was a fool, but I fell asleep thinking it was all possible. He would get work; I would get work. We would be able to afford a small apartment and in time we would have enough to really live right. Finally, we were both free of all the phonies.
"'There are no Beverlys where we're going,' Lloyd promised as we drifted into our private fantasies.
"It was colder than we had expected during the night. I kept waking and I couldn't get very comfortable. Both of us looked washed out the next morning. We found a small restaurant where I cleaned up and fixed my hair. We had a hot breakfast, which made us feel a lot better.
"By this time I imagined my mother was in some kind of a panic, enough of one to have called my father. But I also envisioned them blaming each other as usual and not really doing anything about it.
"Lloyd was worried about us not having enough money to make it to Seattle and get situated. As we started out that second day, our enthusiasm had softened and thinned somewhat. I fell asleep on and off with my head against him He mumbled something about our need to sleep in a real bed that night. About two hours later, he pulled into the parking lot of a small convenience store and told me to wait on the motorcycle. I thought he was just going in to get us a snack, but when he came out, he was running He hopped onto the cycle and we took off so fast, I nearly fell backwards. He sped up and I screamed at him, asking why he was going so fast. He didn't say anything He just kept us going faster and faster. I was really frightened. A little more than a half hour later, I looked back and saw a police car closing on us.
"'You better slow down and stop. I think he's after us,' I shouted to Lloyd, but he just went faster, trying to lose the police car by cutting off the highway at a turn. We nearly spilled and then he had to slow down because the road turned into nothing but a gravel path.
"I was surprised to hear the siren and see the police car still behind us. It caught up and pulled alongside. Lloyd finally had to slow down, cursing under his breath. When the policeman stepped out of his car, he had his gun drawn and I was so frightened, I started to cry.
"He made Lloyd get off the cycle and lay face down so he could put handcuffs on him and then he did the same to me. After that, he put us into the back of his car.
"'You're arresting us just for speeding?' I cried at him.
"'No ma'am,' he said, 'just for robbing that convenience store back there,' he said.
"Lloyd had his head down. I asked him if that was true and he nodded and admitted that he had pulled a knife on the frightened elderly lady behind the counter.
"'I thought if we just had a little more money, we. could make it all right,' he said. 'I'm sorry I got you into trouble,' he told me and I cried all the way to the police station, cried for both of us.
"I was permitted to make a phone call. That was the hardest decision: whom to call, Daddy or Mommy') I remember standing there with the receiver in my hand, staring at the numbers.
"'You can't have all day,' the female officer nearby told me and I dialed Daddy. I was afraid Mommy would just get hysterical and forget to get me help. He wasn't at home, so I called his office. He listened and then spoke like someone on a telephone in his grave. He asked me to put one of the police officers on and I stepped away.
"All I wanted to do was die before I had to face my parents again."
Epilogue
" Lloyd told the police that I had no knowledge of the robbery and I did not know what he was doing when he stopped at the convenience store, but I had to go to court anyway. Daddy hired a lawyer for me. Lloyd had someone from the public defender's office. Because of his previous record, he was sent to a juvenile facility. I was put on probation but with the stipulation that I begin to see a therapist. It was what the school recommended too.
"For a while both my parents acted as if they had been given lobotomies by my actions. I never saw them so quiet. I think they were just terrified. I was expecting them to shout and blame each other as usual, but they sat next to each other in the courthouse and agreed with the attorney and with each other that neither had paid enough attention to me and that I was reacting to their breakup.
"Finally, I thought, finally, the static will stop. "Of course, that truce didn't last long. They're both back to their old selves again, but for a short time at least, I felt re