Cat (Wildflowers 4)

"Why else would she put down her boyfriend in front of them like that?"

"Star's right," Jade said. "I know girls like that, too. They are usually making it up to look like they are more experienced. Unless she's just a sex tease, of course, and likes to torment every boy she dates," she added.

"Maybe," Star said, "but I think we're probably right about her anyway."

Misty said nothing, but nodded with a knowing look on her face.

How I wished I was experienced enough to recognize these things as well as they could, I thought.

"Nevertheless, it was on my mind the remainder of the day. I couldn't stop thinking about it all, even when I got home and started my homework. Daddy came home late that night and my mother complained about the stink of booze on his breath. He did look like he had drunk more than usual. His eyes were a little more bloodshot and he had this devilmay-care smile on his face as she chastised and lectured him

"He didn't say anything special to me, but at dinner, I caught him looking my way occasionally and winking Of course, I checked to see if my mother had caught us conspiring each time, but she was occupied with the meal and with reminding my father about her great-uncle Willy who had become an alcoholic from his daily drink with the boys and ended up dying in the gutter, penniless. It was one of those- family stories that takes on the power of a legend. My father was never very impressed with it and once told her that her mother probably made it all up.

"That set her off on a tirade against his family, whom she called white trash. Daddy never defended them no matter what she said. As I grew older, I wondered why, but he always retreated from my questions with the statement that they were all 'A bunch of lunatics.' According to him, it was better to pretend they didn't exist, that they never existed.

"After dinner my father fell asleep in his chair reading and my mother continued her complaining, only now, directing it to me.

"'See what a waste of energy it is to get yourself drunk,' she pointed out, nodding in his direction. 'It's better you never put your lips to any alcohol.'

"I thought about what had happened at Kelly's after I had begun to drink the rum and considered that she was probably right about that.

"Anyway, I went up to my room for the night. I heard her go to bed before Daddy and then, after I had bathed and gone to bed myself, I heard his footsteps on the stairs. He paused at my door. I held my breath and then I saw the door open slowly. He slipped in and closed it behind him

"'Cathy? Are you asleep?' he whispered.

"'No, Daddy,' I said. 'I just got into bed.'

"'Good,' he said and approached the bed. He sat at my feet for a moment. I could hear him breathing hard as if he had run up the stairs. Then he reached out and lay his hand, palm down, on the small of my stomach.

"'Are you still excited about going to the dance?' he asked.

"'Yes, Daddy,' I said.

"'Good,' he said. 'Well then, it's time to go on with our lesson.' He rose to sit closer to me. 'Remember where we were. You like this boy and you want him to like you,' he said quickly. 'Now boys can do something that is so unexpected and surprising to you, you'll get confused and lose your control,' he told me, which was almost exactly what Debbie had told her girlfriends at school.

"I heard what sounded like the rustle of clothing and a moment later, he lifted the cover and slipped into bed beside me.

"When I was a little girl, he had done this once. My mother was busy downstairs and he came into my room and slipped into the bed and held me and stroked my hair and petted me as he talked about things we would do together someday. I used to long for him to be like that again.

"'Now remember where we w

ere when we left off,' he whispered in my ear. 'You're in the backseat of his car and he has kissed you and told you he loves you and needs you and wants you to love and need him, and you like all that. You want all that. Then he moves quickly,' Daddy said and put his hand where it was on my thigh the day before.

"I held my breath, waiting for him to tell me what I was supposed to do. When he didn't speak, I thought he was waiting for me to move his hand away, but he moved it to that very private place between my legs before I could do anything.

"'When he touches you here, it's different,' he said. 'It makes that inner voice louder, right?

"'Oh Cathy,' he said in that pretend voice before I could respond. `You feel so good.'

"Then, without warning as he had promised, he turned himself and I felt his hardness against my inner thigh. He was right about it surprising me. I couldn't speak; I couldn't move. It was more than just a shock. It turned me to stone.

'He'll want you to touch him, Cathy. You should know what it's like for him so you will know what to expect. Here,' he said bringing my hand to him. 'See what happens to him. See?' he said.

"He held my hand there and I felt his heart beating through my palm

"I cried out and turned away quickly, burying my face in the pillow.

"'That's all right,' he said. 'That's good. That's the way you should be, but now you know what to expect.