That's good, isn't it? Isn't it?' he asked again until I nodded my head. 'Good,' he said. 'Good,' he chanted, but he sounded a little frightened too.
"He rose and I heard him dress and start for the door.
"'Good night, Cathy,' he said. 'That was tonight's lesson. There's just one more step to go,' he added as he opened the door and slipped out.
"I couldn't stop crying and then I became angry at myself. Why was I crying? Look at what Daddy had done for me. In minutes I was ahead of the other girls who would probably learn all this while it was happening and wouldn't know what to expect. I was more sophisticated than Debbie Hartley. Stop crying. Stop being a baby. Stop being immature, I told myself.
"Damn, Cat, didn't you know how wrong it was?" Star asked.
"I thought it was good!" I protested. "I didn't know. I had no one to talk to about it all. Daddy was nicer to me than ever!" I cried, tears now building aggressively under my eyes and pouring over my lids to streak down to my chin.
"Easy, Cathy," Doctor Marlowe said. "We've talked at length about this. You don't have to be. ashamed. You don't have to blame yourself. The girls understand," she added looking at them.
Misty nodded.
"Is he in jail at least?" Jade asked.
"No," I said.
"Why not?" she demanded.
"Let Cathy tell you everything at her own pace, Jade. If she wants to go on, that is," Doctor Marlowe said.
The girls sat back and looked at me anxiously. They didn't look angry so much as they looked frightened now. I was beginning to feel like I was the strongest of us all.
"I'll go on," I said.
Misty leaned forward and touched my hand. She smiled and I took a deep breath.
"Daddy was very busy the next two days. Something dramatic had happened in the stock market and he missed dinner on Wednesday night. On Thursday, however, he surprised both my mother and myself by telling us that he had to go to Santa Barbara to meet with an important client on Friday. He would leave late in the afternoon, so we could go along. He suggested we stay overnight and have dinner at a nice restaurant on the beach.
"'It's a great town, great stores. You'll have a good time,' he told my mother.
"Of course, she had her expected reaction. Santa Barbara was so close. Why was it necessary to stay overnight in an expensive hotel where strangers slept? It started her off on one of her favorite topics: her theory about why there was so much disease in the world. She believed it was due to travel, to people spreading germs and viruses. She was especially critical of air travel, claiming the germs were circulated for hours and hours in a plane. She had never been in a plane for just that reason, and she would certainly not go to Santa Barbara and stay overnight in some hotel.
"'Oh, too bad,' Daddy said and then turned to me and asked if I would want to go with him 'It's a business expense,' he said. 'The client is actually going to pay for it. I can get us a suite.'
"I looked to my mother but she seemed uninterested in my answer. I don't know if she thought I was going to be like her and refuse or if she didn't really care what I decided. Daddy looked at me with eyes that told me he really wanted me along.
"'We'll be home early enough for you to prepare for the dance,' he added, then looked at my mother and winked at me.
"'Okay,' I said.
"'Good,' he said quickly. 'I'll swing by after you come home from school and we'll head out to beat the traffic. Sure you won't join us, Geraldine?'
'Of course, I'm sure,' my mother said.
"Didn't she realize what was going on?" Jade asked quickly, her face flaming bright red with fury.
I shook my head.
"It was so far from her thoughts, she couldn't even imagine it," I told her.
"I bet she feels really bad now," Star said.
"She does but she blames him the most, of course," I said. "And me, too."
"Forget about blame. What happened? Did you go with him?" Jade asked.