I laughed again and that laugh became brittle, shattered, and turned into a sob. The sob ran on until I felt tears emerging. My whole body started to shake. Star put her arm around me quickly and helped me to the sofa. They all gathered around.
"Get her a glass of water," Star ordered Misty. She hurried out of the room. "You're going to be all right, Cat. Don't worry."
"I've been thinking a lot while I was waiting for you. Maybe... maybe it's my fault she's dead," I said, trying to swallow down a lump in my throat. Misty brought me the glass of water and I drank some quickly. "She got so angry at me. She was raging for the last couple of days. If she did have a heart attack, it's my fault," I insisted.
"No, no," Jade said, shaking her head. "She shouldn't have gotten angry at those things anyway. It's her fault. She probably ate her own heart out."
"Jade's right," Misty said. "My mother's always talking about stress making you sick and giving you wrinkles. That's what happened to your sister. She stressed herself to the point of breaking."
"She was meant to die," Star added. "It was her time. You can't blame yourself for that."
"I couldn't help with any of the housework and she hated that I made her relive the past. I kept asking questions she didn't want to answer. Telling me about the past was painful for her, too," I told them. Although they didn't look like they believed it or cared, they nodded as I spoke. It just felt good to keep talking so I related all the facts Geraldine had given me about our mother and her so-called assignations with different men. As long as I talked, I didn't cry.
"She should have told you everything years ago. You're not a child," Star said. "Granny says secrets can be like rats living in the closets of your heart, gnawing at you until you get sick."
"She got sick all right," Jade said, nodding at Geraldine's body.
"Who do we call?" Misty asked. "I mean, do we call the police first or an ambulance or what? Anybody know?"
"You call the police first," Jade said. "They have to
investigate before they remove the body. It's an unattended death. Don't you watch any television?"
"You know I do," Misty said.
"They'll surely blame me," I said. "Maybe they'll want to put me in jail."
"That's silly, Cat. Stay cool," Star said.
She looked at Jade and Jade looked at Misty. Then they were all staring at me.
"More importantly, what's going to happen to Cat?" Star wondered aloud.
"Does your mother have any nearby relatives?" Jade asked.
I shook my head.
"There are some cousins, but they live on the East Coast I think. I don't even know their names."
"They won't care about her," Star said. "She's no more than a stranger to them."
"She can't call her adoptive father's family. That's for sure," Misty said.
Jade nodded.
"So what happens to her now?" Star asked They were talking almost as ill wasn't even there.
"She's not eighteen yet," Jade said, putting on her official, adult face. "If there's no family to take her in, she'll go to foster care."
"What does that mean?" Misty asked before I could.
"It means she'll become a ward of the state and fanned out to some family until she's eighteen:'
"You mean that she'll have to live with complete strangers?" Misty asked, astounded.
"No," Star said sarcastically. "They'll introduce her first. Of course, strangers. What do you think?" "Oh," Misty said, turning to me. "Poor Cat."
"When she turns eighteen, her trust, all of it becomes hers and then she'll be on her own," Jade added, to soften the blow.