imagine that he even condoned it because he
recognized that my lover provided something for me
that he could never provide. I told myself Franklin
just wants me to be happy and he is willing to look the
other way if that means be happy. Perhaps it was only
foolish hope on as I have said, a way of rationalizing
my infidelity, but I let myself believe it.
"I want you to learn from this how important it
is to give yourself to a man you can truly love and
who can truly love you in all respects. Settling for
anything less will lead to lifelong unhappiness, deep frustration, and eventually disaster in one form or
another. Just look at me as an example.
"I was so reckless about my affair that I didn't
take the proper precautions. I think now that deep in
my heart I didn't want to. Yes, as horrible or as
shocking as that may sound to you, I wanted my
lover's child growing in my womb. Maybe it was my
way of confessing and if you are a really moral
person, even if you can get away with a sin, you will
have a great need to confess it. Eventually, you must.
Remember that, Cathy. Never fool yourself into
believing you can escape your own conscience. It's a
voice that dies only when you die, and you will hear it
in your sleep as long as you live."
I paused because my throat had tightened, and I
looked at Misty who was lying there so still, listening,
her eyes fixed on the wall, her face full of
anticipation. She realized I had stopped and turned to
me. We stared at each other a moment.
"Don't even think it," she warned. "It's not a sin;