Into the Garden (Wildflowers 5)

"I'll wait here, but I would like to help, too."

"She won't let you. You're our guest," Star said, and slipped out.

I sat on her bed and gazed around the small, dark room. How hard it has to be for her, I thought. No wonder she seems so angry all the time. I guess I would be too, I concluded. She wasn't gone long.

"I called us a cab," she said. "Ma'ama's not upset about having the room to herself. It's best we leave."

"What about Rodney?"

"He'll be all right sleeping in the living room. The way it looks, that's going to turn into his bedroom. I don't hold out much hope of my mother getting any sort of decent job and finding us a place to live. I'm too mad to think about it all right now. Let's just get out of here."

"Is your grandmother upset?"

"She'll be fine. Ma'ama's still afraid of her," Star said. She smiled. "Misty will be happy. You and I are going back to sleep with the ghost. We'll call her and Jade when we get to your house," she added. "Sorry this turned out this way."

"I'm fine with it," I said. "Don't worry about me."

When we emerged, I saw how Star's mother looked small and remorseful. Granny Anthony had been quietly taking her to task and bawling her out for her lifestyle, I imagined.

"I'm sorry you had to go to some mental doctor," her mother told Star when we appeared. "Ma'ama just told me some of it."

"I'm not sorry," Star said. "At least I learned how to deal with you."

"I was hoping you and I could be friends again, honey," her mother said.

"When were we ever friends, Ma'ama? I was only a bur- den to you."

"Well, I've changed, honey. I'm different. You'll see." "Right," Star said. She kissed Granny.

"It was a wonderful dinner, Mrs. Anthony. Thanks again," I said.

"You're welcome, honey. Be careful out there, hear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

I stopped at the living room door to say goodbye to Rodney. He suddenly looked his age. His mother's shocking appearance had turned him back into a little boy.

"Just stay out of her way tonight," Star told him, "and be a help to Granny."

He nodded and looked at the television set, but I didn't think he heard or saw anything. His eyes were glassy and full of fear.

The cab was waiting for us outside. Star hurried me to it and we gave the driver my address.

"The faster I get away from her, the better I'll feel," Star muttered.

Minutes later, we were out of her

neighborhood, but what she was trying to leave behind, was still wrapped around her, making her stiff and quiet. All the memories and pain could be resurrected in seconds, I thought, and nothing prevented it from washing over her and leaving her like someone drowning in a sea of nightmares.

All the way back to my house, she muttered about her mother, reliving some of the events she had revealed in our group therapy sessions. I sat silently, waiting for her temper to cool. Just before we reached my house, she stopped talking and pressed her forehead to the window.

"I'm sorry, Star," I said, and touched her arm. She reached back to take my hand.

The house was pitch dark when we arrived. I had forgotten to leave on a light, even in the hallway. The whole house reeked of the paint we'd used. We should have left a few windows open, I thought.

"I need something cold to drink," Star declared when I turned on the hall lights. "Then we'll call Jade and Misty and tell them that we're here."

"Okay."