"Momma was pretty big by this time. Sometimes, Rodney would kick in her stomach and she'd call me to put my hand on it and feel him We didn't know it was a boy yet, but I got so I was excited someone was coming I thought it would be fun to have a little baby in the house and to help look after him or her. Little did I know just how much looking after I would eventually have to do."
"A lot?" Misty asked.
I stared at her for a moment.
"Sometimes, I thought he thought I was his mother instead of his sister?'
"Terrible," Jade said. "Putting that sort of responsibility on you when you were so young."
"Yeah, well, what you have to do, you do unless you got all kinds of servants to do it for you," I told her.
She looked away.
"When Mamma was about in her seventh month, Daddy got laid off again and we had to watch every penny. Momma just hated that. It made her more wasteful just for spite. I guess it was her way of telling Daddy he'd better find new work soon. She wasn't going to deny herself anything, especially her cigarettes or occasional beer.
"One night soon after, while Daddy was trying to find some work, she went to One-Eyed Bill's. When he came home and found she was gone, he went into a rage and this time he didn't send me to go fetch her. After all, she was pregnant and she wasn't supposed to be drinking, so he went himself, nearly ripping the door off its hinges when he charged out of our apartment.
"At One-Eyed Bill's he hit a man who came between him and Momma and the police had to come. I'll never forget that;' I said and looked down at the floor. The memory put ice around my heart for a moment.
"I was just sitting in the living room watching television and looking at the door every once in a while, terrified of what Momma was going to be like coming through it when I heard a knock and then saw a policewoman and a policeman. The policewoman was black.
"She knew my name and all and told me she had come to be sure I was all right. Daddy had told her I was here. She said I'd have to go with them for a while and I shook my head and started to cry. I even tried to run away from them, but they caught me and made me go with them to the police station. I remember thinking I'm being arrested for being Momma's daughter because she was so bad."
I looked up. The three girls were staring at me, none of them taking a breath.
"They kept me in a room and gave me hot chocolate and cookies while they waited to see what was going to happen to Daddy and Momma. She had torn up some of the bar, too, but One-Eyed Bill didn't press any charges and Daddy was released pending a court appearance. The other man didn't show up and they dropped all the charges against Daddy, but it was enough to put a little scare into Momma.
"She behaved herself for quite a while afterward and then Rodney was born in the bathroom!'
"What did you say?" Jade immediately asked. Her head spun around at me so fast, I thought it might keep going around and around on her neck.
"Daddy wasn't home!' I continued, ignoring her. "It was the middle of the afternoon. I had just come back from school. I was in the fifth grade by then. I came into the apartment and called for Momma like always, only she didn't call back. I looked for her in her bedroom and I saw she wasn't there. Then I heard her scream and I ran to the bathroom.
"She was on the floor and I could see the baby coming. The sight nailed my feet to the floor. She was yelling for me to go get help, to call nine-one-one. I started crying. I couldn't help it and she kept screaming and yelling at me Finally, I went to the phone and called and told the operator my momma was having a baby on the bathroom floor. I gave her our address and hung up. Then I heard Rodney cry and when I looked back in the bathroom, Momma had him on her stomach, but there was blood and the afterbirth and . . ."
"Oh, my God, do we have to listen to this?" Jade cried with her mouth twisting into a grimace of disgust.
Cathy looked a shad
e whiter than milk. Misty sat with her eyes wide, her mouth dropped so that I could practically see what she had for breakfast.
"I don't want you to be upset, Jade, but you should know what Star's life is really like and when your turn comes, you shouldn't hold anything back for fear of upsetting the others either."
"Like I have something that gross to tell," Jade replied, swinging those green eyes toward the ceiling.
"What might not be as disagreeable to you, could be to Star."
"Oh please:'
"Why don't you put your fingers in your ears?" I told her.
She looked like she was going to say something back, but held off.
"Just finish describing what happened, Star:' Doctor Marlowe commanded.
"She asked me to fetch her a towel and I did and then I got some hot water for her and we waited. The paramedics came and finished off Rodney's birth, but they took them both to the hospital just the same. Granny came to be with me and finally Daddy showed up and saw Rodney and Momma. She was all right, but mad as hell at him for not being there. They had another argument in the hospital, Daddy defending himself for being out looking for a job and Momma screaming about how she almost died giving birth to his son.
"Right from the start, she made it sound like Rodney was only his and she was just delivering him. That way she blamed Daddy for all the work and all the problems, starting right then and there. The nurse had to ask them to stop yelling.