Star (Wildflowers 2)

"'You can miss some school so I can get a holiday,' she snapped back at me.

"'The school's not going to like that,' I warned her, but she was about as worried about that as she was about our eviction notice.

"I was too tired to care anymore about school anyway. I was doing poorly in most of my subjects, failing math. The counselor had been calling me in at least twice a month, but even she seemed to give up on me. There are a lot-of kids with problems in my school. After a while no one even noticed me. I bet they didn't even realize I was gone.

"Momma made me pack up most of Rodney's things and my own and then she and Aaron drove us to Granny's apartment. It's a smaller apartment than the one we were in, but it was on the ground floor and Granny had a small patch of ground behind it, almost a real backyard. Rodney and I would have to continue to share a bedroom, which was really Granny's sewing room that had a pull-out bed. Aaron had squeezed Rodney's cot-bed into his car trunk, so we at least had that.

"Momma went into this big act before she left, warning Rodney and me to behave while she was away. 'You're here to help Granny,' she said, and made that look like the main reason she had brought us.

"'We'll call you in a day or so, Momma,' she told Granny and they left. She gave Rodney a quick peck on the cheek, but she just looked at me as if I was miles and miles away. There was something in her eyes that caused a flutter of panic in me. My heart skipped and my stomach felt as if it had filled with hot tears.

"Sometimes, I could look at Momma when she was unaware and I could catch a glimpse of who and what she had been when I was much younger. It was almost as if the face she wore now was really a mask and under it was the face of the Momma I had known and once loved like a Momma should be loved. Her eyes would twinkle and her lips would soften into a small smile. It warmed my heart and made me feel safe, if only for a little while.

"I saw that face glimmer for a moment as she stood in the doorway looking back at me. I wanted to run up to her and embrace her and get a real hug of love from her, but it passed and the mask came back strong.

"'You take care of everyone,' she ordered.

"'I always do,' I muttered, which she didn't like. She turned to Aaron and they left quickly.

"Momma didn't call the next day and most of the day after that. Then, just after we had eaten our dinner, the phone rang and it was finally her calling.

"I saw that Granny was doing more listening than speaking and keeping her eyes on me and Rodney as she did so.

"'No,' she said. 'That so? You didn't tell me about that, Aretha. Of course I will,' she added.

"I was waiting nearby, wondering if Momma would ask to speak to me or to Rodney, but she didn't Granny finally said good-bye and hung up.

"'What's wrong now, Granny?' I asked.

"'Your momma says you were all evicted from the apartment. You know about that?'

"'Yeah, I do. I was home when the man brought the notice,' I said, 'and she told me not to worry about it.' "'Well, you lost your home,' Granny said.

"Rodney didn't understand it, but he knew it was bad so he just started to cry and I went to him and held him.

"'What is she going to do about it, Granny?' I asked.

"'She said she and Aaron are going to try to set up a home for you all in San Francisco. Aaron's been promised new work with some friends of his and she's looking for work too. Once they settle into a new place, they'll send for you,' Granny added

"She might have even believed it when she told me then, but after a few days of not hearing from Momma, I could see the trust evaporating. Momma called once more the following week and gave basically the same story. When she didn't call at all the next week, Granny decided we should enroll in the closest schools and she saw that we did.

"Another week went by and another. Momma called once in a while with a different story. Then she called to say she and Aaron were thinking of trying their luck on the East Coast. Aaron had an uncle who owned a convenience store in Wilmington, Delaware and needed help. He supposedly said there was a lot of work Momma could get, too.

"Granny didn't believe her, but she looked at Rodney and me and I guess she thought what was happening was for the best. After she hung up that time, she and I talked about it and she said, 'Well, I guess I'll have to stay in this world a little longer than I had expected.'

"'I guess you better, Granny,' I told her.

"So I became what Misty called yesterday an OWP, orphan with parents. Good riddance to them both, I say:'

I paused, looked at the ceiling and then at Doctor Marlowe. I could see she was waiting for me to tell them, so I got up my courage and I did.

"My troubles," I admitted, "were just starting."

6

As I said before, Granny wanted us to enroll in new schools and we did. I couldn't help being upset with all the changes in our lives. Rodney was bothered even more than I was, but rather than just clam up the way Daddy often did; he began to misbehave, deliberately breaking things in class, getting into fights and talking back to his new teachers. Twice the first month Granny had to go to school because of things he had done. He had grown up in a house with a mother who threw things when she was angry and didn't hesitate to use bad language in front of him, mostly because she had been drinking and didn't even realize what she was saying, so I guess he didn't have what you would call a good role model.

"Nevertheless, I tried being angry at him and bawling him out for the things he did, but when he turned his lost, lonely eyes on me, I stopped yelling and just hugged him Finally, I got to him a little by telling him I was worried more about Granny's health than I was about him or me.