Jade (Wildflowers 3)

"She looked at me as if that was the point. If she keeps the house, then won't I want her to have custody so I could stay in my room? As if my room, my things were all that mattered, I thought.

"'Let me give you an idea of what sort of questions you might be asked,' Mr. Fishman continued. 'Think hard. Who seems to be around more when you need advice? With whom would you rather share your most intimate thoughts, your problems? Who understands you more? Who's been there for you more?

"'You don't have all that much longer to go before you're an independent person, Jade. Think about what would be best for you in finishing out your dependence on your parents. Most importantly, don't think of this as if you're choosing one over the other. No one's asking you to love your father less or your mother more. You might just help make a decision that's better for them, too.

"'You don't want to end up being a burden to your father,' he interjected. 'He's a very busy and creative man. He needs his mind free of worry.'

"I felt like two snakes had come alive in my stomach, the snakes that had replaced my parents in the house, and they were slithering over each other and under each other until they had tied their bodies tightly around one another and formed a painfully poisonous knot in my stomach, a knot so tight neither could unravel it. Instead, they panicked and pulled and tugged on each other, tearing each other apart and it was all happening inside me.

"Mt Fishman must have seen something of this in my face. He very astutely looked at my mother and then smiled and said, 'Fine. This is a good start. We'll talk again.'

"He and my mother stood up, but my legs felt like they had turned to rubber. I actually wobbled.

"Mr. Fishman came around the desk and took my arm.

"'Are you all right?' he asked me. His voice sounded far away, down at the bottom of a well, echoing.

"'I feel a little nauseated,' I said. The bubbles were building in my stomach.

"They took me out to the bathroom quickly. I went into the stall and threw up in the toilet while my mother ran the sink to cover up the sound of my heaving and kept asking if I was all right.

"Finally, I came out.

"'I'll take you to the doctor,' she said. 'You probably caught a bug.'

"'I'll be all, right,' I told her. 'I just want to go home and lie down.'

"'Damn him to hell for doing this,' she muttered. 'Damn him.'

"I kept my eyes closed most of the time in the car and wished I could shut my ears as she rambled on about what my father was doing to us. I couldn't wait to get upstairs and into my room. I got undressed and into bed quickly and when she looked in on me later, I kept my eyes closed and pretended to be asleep.

"Mrs. Caron came up with a bowl of chicken soup. I ate a little, and the nausea subsided and a headache took its place. I began to wonder if my mother had been right and I had caught a bug. Maybe I should have gone to the doctor.

"Later, when my father came home and learned I had missed dinner and was in bed, he stopped by.

"He wanted to know what was wrong and I told him I had stomach trouble and a headache.

"'Why didn't she take you to a doctor? Did she have some meeting that she had to go to instead?' he demanded. My headache got worse. 'Just come knocking on my door tonight if you don't feel any better, Jade. I'll call Harry Weinstein and he'll see you no matter what time it is. She was probably worried she'd have to spend time in a waiting room.'

"'No,' I said. 'I didn't want to go.'

"'When you're sick, you don't know what's best for you. That's what parents are for,' he declared.

'Where was he when I had the measles? I wondered He was in Toronto at an architects' convention. And where was he when I had the flu so bad I lost nearly ten pounds? He was in Boston building an office complex. My mother was in Atlanta at a major corporate meeting.

"Lots of times, I thought, I had to be the one who knew what was best for me, sick or not.

"You were right before, Star," I said. "I want to run away. That night it was all I could think about.

"And later, I did:'

"You did?" Misty asked. I remembered she had tried to do that, too.

'What happened?" Cat asked.

I stared at her for a moment. I was almost ashamed to tell them.

I gathered up my courage and told them the truth. "No one noticed?'