“Rand, when Verin brought us here with the Portal Stone, I—I lived other lives. Sometimes I held the Horn, but I never sounded it. I tried to escape what I’d become, but I never did. Always there was something else required of me, always something worse than the last, until I was. . . . You were ready to give it up to save a friend. Think not of glory. Oh, Light, help me.”
Rand did not know what to say. It was as if Egwene had told him she had murdered children. Too horrible to be believed. Too horrible for anyone to admit to unless it was true. Too horrible.
After a time, Ingtar spoke again, firmly. “There has to be a price, Rand. There is always a price. Perhaps I can pay it here.”
“Ingtar, I—”
“It is every man’s right, Rand, to choose when to Sheathe the Sword. Even one like me.”
Before Rand could say anything, Hurin came running down the alley. “The patrol turned aside,” he said hurriedly, “down into the town. They seem to be gathering down there. Mat and Perrin went on.” He took a quick look down the street and pulled back. “We’d better do the same, Lord Ingtar, Lord Rand. Those bug-headed Seanchan are almost here.”
“Go, Rand,” Ingtar said. He turned to face the street and did not look at Rand or Hurin again. “Take the Horn where it belongs. I always knew the Amyrlin should have given you the charge. But all I ever wanted was to keep Shienar whole, to keep us from being swept away and forgotten.”
“I know, Ingtar.” Rand drew a deep breath. “The Light shine on you, Lord Ingtar of House Shinowa, and may you shelter in the palm of the Creator’s hand.” He touched Ingtar’s shoulder. “The last embrace of the mother welcome you home.” Hurin gasped.
“Thank you,” Ingtar said softly. A tension seemed to go out of him. For the first time since the night of the Trolloc raid on Fal Dara, he stood as he had when Rand first saw him, confident and relaxed. Content.
Rand turned and found Hurin staring at him, staring at both of them. “It is time for us to go.”
“But Lord Ingtar—”
“—does what he has to,” Rand said sharply. “But we go.” Hurin nodded, and Rand trotted after him. Rand could hear the steady tread of the Seanchan’s boots, now. He did not look back.
CHAPTER
47
The Grave Is No Bar to My Call
Mat and Perrin were mounted by the time Rand and Hurin reached them. Far behind him, Rand heard Ingtar’s voice rise. “The Light, and Shinowa!” The clash of steel joined the roar of other voices.
“Where’s Ingtar?” Mat shouted. “What’s going on?” He had the Horn of Valere lashed to the high pommel of his saddle as if it were just any horn, but the dagger was in his belt, the ruby-tipped hilt cupped protectively in a pale hand that seemed made of nothing but bone and sinew.
“He’s dying,” Rand said harshly as he swung onto Red’s back.
“Then we have to help him,” Perrin said. “Mat can take the Horn and the dagger on to—”
“He is doing it so we can all get away,” Rand said. For that, too. “We will all take the Horn to Verin, and then you can help her take it wherever she says it belongs.”
“What do you mean?” Perrin asked. Rand dug his heels into the bay’s flanks, and Red leaped away toward the hills beyond the town.
“The Light, and Shinowa!” Ingtar’s shout soared after him, sounding triumphant, and lightning crashed across the sky in answer.
Rand whipped Red with his reins, then lay against the stallion’s neck as the bay laid out in a dead run, mane and tail streaming. He wished he did not feel as if he were running away from Ingtar’s cry, running from what he was supposed to do. Ingtar, a Darkfriend. I don’t care. He was still my friend. The bay’s gallop could not take him away from his own thoughts. Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain. So many duties. Egwene. The Horn. Fain. Mat and his dagger. Why can’t there just be one at a time? I have to take care of all of them. Oh, Light, Egwene!
He reined in so suddenly that Red slid to a halt, sitting back on his haunches. They were in a scanty copse of bare-branched trees atop one of the hills overlooking Falme. The others galloped up behind him.
“What do you mean?” Perrin demanded. “We can help Verin take the Horn where it’s supposed to go? Where are you going to be?”
“Maybe he’s going mad already,” Mat said. “He wouldn’t want to stay with us if he was going mad. Would you, Rand?”
“You three take the Horn to Verin,” Rand said. Egwene. So many threads, in so much danger. So many duties. “You do not need me.”
Mat caressed the dagger’s hilt. “That’s all very well, but what about you? Burn me, you can’t be going mad yet. You can’t!” Hurin gaped at them, not understanding half of it.
“I’m going back,” Rand said. “I should never have left.” Somehow, that did not sound exactly right in his own ears; it did not feel right inside his head. “I have to go back. Now.” That sounded better. “Egwene is still there, remember. With one of those collars around her neck.”
“Are you sure?” Mat said. “I never saw her. Aaaah! If you say she is there, then she’s there. We’ll all take the Horn to Verin, and then we will all go back for her. You don’t think I would leave her there, do you?”