SKIPPER BLOWS IT
Saturday night. Skipper goes to a barbecue at the home of his friends the Rappaports, a young couple who always seem to be on the verge of divorce. He gets drunk again and tries the “drinking beer and lying on the bed” trick again with a girl named Cindy. It seems to be working, until he mentions that he thinks Jim Carrey is a genius.
“You know, I have a boyfriend,” she says.
Sunday. Mr. Marvelous calls his friends, tells them he’s sick of Bedford and is coming out in his Ferrari.
Stanford Blatch is sitting out by the pool in a paisley Armani cabana suit. A short-sleeved jacket and tight-fitting trunks. He’s on the phone again to Robert Morriskin. “Why don’t you come out tonight? There’s a great party. There aren’t that many great parties out here anymore, you know? Are you bringing a date? Bring a girl if you want. I don’t care.”
SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENS
Sunday night. Coerte Felske’s book party at Ted Fields’s house. Skipper hasn’t been invited, which pisses him off. Nevertheless, he has arranged to go to the party by offering to drive Stanford Blatch, whom he knows vaguely and who is invited everywhere, to the party.
The party is outside. Skipper notices that a young woman named Margaret is paying a lot of attention to him. Margaret is short, with dark hair and large breasts, pretty—but not Skipper’s type. Works in public relations. Skipper and Margaret decide they have to go to the bathroom, which means walking along a torchlit path snaking behind some bushes to the porta-potties. They head for some hedges. They start kissing. And then something amazing happens.
“I just really want to do this,” Margaret says, and she kneels down and unzips his pants. Skipper is astounded. The whole act takes less than two minutes.
“You’re going to give me a ride home, aren’t you?” Margaret says, nudging him.
“I can’t,” he says. “I promised I would give Stanford a ride home, and you live in the opposite direction.”
OH, MR. MARVELOUS!
Further Lane. Mr. Marvelous from Bedford arrives just in time for dinner. His host, Charlie, has been divorced for five years. He’s invited some men and some women in their thirties to early forties. Mr. Marvelous sits next to a woman named Sabrina: thirty-two, breasts spilling out of a black Donna Karan tank top. Mr. Marvelous gets her drinks, is sympathetic about her ex-husband. At eleven o’clock, Sabrina says they have to go to Stephen’s Talk House in Amagansett to meet some frien
ds. Mr. Marvelous offers to drive her car, she might be a little drunk. They end up at Sabrina’s house at three in the morning.
When he walks in, her girlfriend says, “If you’ve got any kinky ideas in your head, you can just forget them right now.” She lies down on the couch and turns out the light.
Later, about five in the morning, Mr. Marvelous begins feeling claustrophobic. Sabrina’s house is tiny. He can hear her friend snoring on the couch just outside the bedroom door. “I’m going out of my mind,” he thinks.
Monday. Mr. Marvelous calls Sabrina, whom he just left an hour before. Her machine is on. “Do you want to come to the beach?” He goes to Media Beach, meets Carrie and Mr. Big. Then he spots an attractive blond with a cocker spaniel. He walks up to her and starts playing with her dog. They get into a conversation. He thinks he’s getting somewhere when her boyfriend walks up. A big, hulking guy with an overdeveloped chest and short legs. Mr. Marvelous returns to his towel. Samantha Jones is there, sitting with Carrie and Mr. Big.
The girl and her boyfriend walk up the beach. When the blond passes Mr. Marvelous, she turns and waves.
“See? I told you she was interested. Really interested,” Mr. Marvelous says.
“In you?” Samantha asks. She laughs meanly.
CELLULAR BREAKDOWN
Skipper is playing tennis when he hears his cellular phone ringing.
“Hi, honey,” Margaret says. “Just wondering what you’re doing.”
“I’m in the middle of a tennis game,” Skipper says.
“Wanna come over after? I’d love to cook you dinner over here.”
“Uh, I can’t.”
“What do you mean, you can’t?”
“I mean, I don’t know what I’m doing yet. I told some other people I would go over to their house for dinner.”
“So we’ll go together.”
Skipper lowers his voice. “I don’t think I can do that. It’s kind of business, you know what I mean?”