We make eight stops on the way home, and Mr. Jacobson leaves a batch of ribs with various families, all families who could use a little help, but Mr. Jacobson makes it seem like they’re doing him a huge favor by taking the food off his hands. Then he drops by the two local nursing homes and leaves the rest for an evening snack for the residents. He stays to talk for a few minutes, and Jake and I lean against the tailgate, waiting for him to be finished.
“You got lucky, Jake.”
Jake heaves out a sigh. “I know.” He grins at me. “Just don’t tell him I said so, or his head will swell up so big we won’t be able to fit him in the truck.”
30
Abigail
A gentle rain begins to fall around seven o’clock. I hear the pings on the tin roof and look out the screen door and watch as fat raindrops splat against the porch. I open the door and step outside. A cool wind lifts my hair, blowing it back from my face, and I inhale deeply.
I know I’m not going to be able to stay here forever, not without a job. So I either have to get a job and decide to stay, or I need to go home. But I don’t know how Ethan feels. I know he likes me—he has said as much. What I don’t know is if he can love me. Or if I can love him back.
If anyone were to ask me right now this very minute, I’d have to say that I am falling in love with him. I think about him all the time, even when he’s not around. I wonder what he’s doing and if he’s happy. I wonder how people are treating him, and whether or not they’re treating him well enough.
He’s gone now with Jake and Mr. Jacobson to the fire and rescue meeting in advance of the coming storm. But I’m pretty sure I know what kind of reception he’s going to get, and I know he’ll be heartbroken over it.
My walk takes me up to the big house, the house on the hill where the Jacobsons live, and I find Katie in the yard with her children. Her older two children are kicking a ball around with her two little ones, and she has a baby in her arms as she occasionally runs after one or the other of the small ones. She looks up as I approach.
She smiles at me. “Are you enjoying the rain?”
I walk over toward her brood, taking in the chaos that surrounds her. But she doesn’t look the least bit put-out by it.
I hold my palm out toward the sky. “I think it’s stopping.”
“The weather app said it would only last a few minutes.” One of her younger boys falls down hard, and his cheek skids in the damp grass. He whimpers a little, but she doesn’t make a fuss over it. She cups her hand around her mouth and whispers to me, “If I don’t notice he fell, he won’t either.” She grins. “Mom trick,” she adds with a wink.
“Good to know.” I look from one to another of her rambunctious children. “How do you do all this? And keep your sanity?”
She shrugs. “Jake actually does a lot of it. The older ones are in school all day. The little ones nap.” She shrugs again. “It works out.” She looks at me. “Have you ever wanted kids?”
“I’ve never really thought about it,” I admit. Charles and I agreed that we would wait to have children, and that day never came. I never missed it. Not really.
“Well, Ethan has Mitchell,” she says slyly, like she’s inviting me to have a conversation about Mitchell.
I nod. “Yes, he does.”
She grins at me. “Pop has seen Ethan leaving your cabin every morning this week,” she says. “He can’t keep a secret to save his life.” She holds up a hand when I start to protest. “Don’t worry. Ethan knows he approves of you.”
“What?” Mr. Jacobson approves of me? Did I hear that correctly?
She looks a little uncertain. “I’ve overstepped,” she adds, her eyes suddenly wary.
“No, no, that’s not it.” I just didn’t know that Ethan needs for Mr. Jacobson to approve me to be in his life. “I didn’t know about that. That he approves.” Or disapproves, for that matter.
“It’s not like that,” she rushes to say.
“Then what’s it like?”
“It’s just… Ethan doesn’t have very many people on his team. But Pop is definitely Team Ethan.” She takes a breath, but then she rushes on to say, “Pop has known your grandmother since they were young. They still talk sometimes.”
Suddenly, it all becomes clear. “So that’s what this is about,” I say. “Gran has been talking.”
“I don’t know.” She looks down into her baby’s face and says in a childlike voice, “Mommy messed this all up.”
“I think I might love him,” I admit suddenly. The words just spill out of me. I instantly regret that I didn’t say them to Ethan first. I wish I could grab them in the air and bring them back to my lips, but they’re already out there.
“Nobody deserves to be loved more than Ethan.” She looks down at her watch. “I’m actually surprised they’re not back yet. I hope everything went okay at the fire station.”