Feels like Home (Lake Fisher 2)

“We did have a lot of fun,” Katie says, her eyes bright and shining.

“We did,” I agree.

“When will Eli and Bess get here?” Katie asks.

“Tomorrow, I think.”

“Do they know?” Katie asks. She doesn’t go into detail.

“Eli knows. Don’t know if he’s told Bess,” I admit.

“I don’t think they do a lot of talking lately,” Jake says. He lets out a long, low whistle.

“I’m surprised they’re still married,” Katie tosses in. “I’ll be even more surprised if she actually shows up.”

She has to show up. I need her too much. I need all of them right now. When I found out I was dying, I couldn’t think of anywhere else I wanted to be. I wanted to come home. I wanted to bring my kids here and give them the best summer of their lives. It’ll be my last one, but I’m determined it will be one they remember forever and ever. It’ll be the summer that cannot be compared to others. It will be perfect. Or I’ll die trying.

The latter is inevitable, I know.

3

Bess

It’s after midnight when we get to Lake Fisher. The drive was long and tiring, and I wasn’t even behind the wheel. Instead, I worked the whole way here while Eli drove. Well, he drove and hummed along to the radio. And breathed. I keep telling him to cut that shit out, but he won’t accommodate my request. He ignores me entirely when I tell him that his breathing annoys me.

In fact, everything about him annoys me. The way he cracks his knuckles. The hair he leaves in the sink after he shaves. The way he puts the cap back on the toothpaste tube so tightly that I can’t use it. All those things annoy the hell out of me.

I know why we’re here. He’s hoping that by coming back to this place where we met, we can rekindle that old flame we once had. But that flame has long since burned out. It’s dead. I had him served with divorce papers two weeks ago, and he asked me to come here, to this place, to help him pack up the cabin so we can sell it before the divorce goes through. There are lots of memories here. But there’s nothing here that can change my mind. I want the divorce. I need it. I need it like I need my next breath. I need it like I once needed him.

“We’re here,” Eli says as he cuts the lights. The little cottage that once held so much life now looks forlorn and wan. It’s old and decrepit, just like our marriage.

“I can see that.” I get out and stretch. “It looks smaller.” And sadder.

“Everything looks bigger when you’re a kid.” He reaches beneath the planter by the steps and removes the key that has been there for as long as I can remember. “It’s still there,” he says, staring down at it in his palm.

“They keep a copy up at the big house, just in case someone needs work done to their house and can’t be here,” I remind him.

All the little cottages are owned by their occupants, but everyone pays lot rent to the Jacobsons, along with a nominal fee that takes care of grass mowing and general upkeep.

I look over and see a van parked in front of the cottage next door. “I wonder if Aaron rented his cottage to someone.”

Eli just hums at me. He has a way of acknowledging me without actually doing so. It’s one of the many things that make me dislike him.

It has been years since we have been here. And I don’t think that the cabin next door has been used e

ither. If it has, Aaron hasn’t mentioned it in his emails and occasional calls. He contacts Eli a lot more than he contacts me. That didn’t use to be the case. There was a time when Aaron and I were thick as thieves. We were together at Lake Fisher every summer for as long as I can remember. Then one day Eli showed up. And things changed.

I jerk myself out of my memories and follow Eli into the dark cottage. He crosses the room and flips a switch. The room floods with light and I look around.

“Looks like Katie and Jake came by.” He picks up the little basket full of goodies and tilts it toward me so I can see inside. “Chocolates. Wine.” He lets out a slow whistle and waggles his eyebrows at me. He hands me a note after reading it really quickly. “They changed the sheets and aired the place out.” He glances around. “That was nice of them.”

“Very,” I reply. I walk into the tiny bedroom and look around. It’s neat and tidy and…small. “Where are you going to sleep?” I ask.

This cabin only has one bedroom. And it has been more than a year since Eli and I have shared a bed.

Eli points to the bed. “Right there.”

I lay my palm on my chest. “Then where am I going to sleep?”