Feels like Home (Lake Fisher 2)

Eli

After Katie takes the sprayer away from Mr. Jacobson as if he were a naughty child, I run back to the cabin really quick and get Bess’s camera. She had promised Aaron that she would take some candid summer shots of his kids, and this is a perfect time. The kids have had a blast with the water balloons, and Katie even got in on the action when she dropped a huge balloon filled with freezing cold water over the top of Mr. Jacobson’s head. “Payback’s a bitch,” she’d crowed as the old man gasped and shivered.

I watch as Bess stands on the periphery of the group, her camera raised in front of her face as she takes photo after photo. She has to stop to manually advance the film, but she does it quickly and efficiently the same way she does everything else.

Bess has a gleam in her eye that I haven’t seen in quite a while. In fact, I was afraid I’d never see it again. “She’s glowing,” Jake says from where he’s standing next to me. I smile at him, unsure of how to respond. “Things are going well?” He asks it quietly so no one else can hear.

“Yeah, I think so.” I don’t know what he wants to hear.

“She’s changed since you guys got here,” he says.

“What do you mean?” I know she has changed, but I want to hear what he sees, because I’m afraid I’m biased. I’m afraid I’m only seeing what I want to see, which is her loving and accepting me again.

“When you guys arrived, she was closed off. Like there was a wall between her and the rest of the world.” He shakes his head. “I know you thought it was just you she hated, but I think she hated herself a little bit too.” He shrugs. “But what do I know? Probably nothing.”

“And now what do you see?” I watch her. She’s smiling as she shows Sam how her camera works.

“Life,” Jake says. He only says that one word. Life. And that’s what it is. She’s alive, and she really hasn’t been, not for a very long time. She’s been living, but she was a shell of herself. “Opportunity,” he adds. “Life is what you make of it, dude.”

He walks away and goes to help Katie pick up pieces of shredded balloon. She straightens up, grabs her stomach, and freezes.

Jake’s eyebrows shoot up toward his hairline as he stares at her. “Now?” he asks, all concern.

She relaxes after a beat and shakes her head. “Just a huge kick,” she says. “Huge kick.” She blows out a breath. “This one is going to be a soccer player.”

“Can I feel?” I hear a voice ask.

I freeze and briefly close my eyes because I know it was Bess who asked. I haul in the deepest breath I can and watch as Katie nods. She grabs Bess’s hand and lays it on her belly. Bess jumps and laughs out loud when the baby kicks against her hand.

“Definitely a soccer player,” she says, her eyes full of wonder. She searches around until her eyes meet mine. And I don’t see anything in them but joy over Katie’s condition. I don’t see regret or agony or sadness, and I am so grateful that I don’t know what to do.

“Can we make dough doggies now?” Alex asks.

“Yes,” Katie replies. “Let me go get the supplies.”

“Let me,” Bess says. “Go sit down. Good grief, you’re about forty years pregnant.”

“How much longer, Katie?” Aaron asks.

“Could be any day now,” Katie says. “I just hit thirty-eight weeks.”

“Or you could go four more weeks, if you have a kid as stubborn as Sam,” Aaron says. “She was determined she wasn’t coming out.” He scrubs his hand across the top of her head. “And she’s done everything her own way every day since.”

She grins at him, and I watch as Bess takes a picture of them smiling at one another.

“Was I stubborn, too, Dad?” Kerry-Anne asks as she goes and sits down next to him by the fire.

“Nope. You have always been easy to manage. Unlike your sister.”

“Normally, it’s reversed,” Katie says. “You usually get the really stubborn baby after the first, when you’ve gotten comfortable getting your own way.” She laughs. “Then the new baby arrives and ruins it all.”

Jake grabs a few beers from the cooler and brings one to me. “Thanks,” I say absently.

“You can’t take your eyes off her, can you,” Jake says quietly.

I finally look away. “I can’t help it if I like looking at my wife.” I grin, ducking my head to hide my embarrassment.

“Nothing wrong with being in love with the person you live with. It certainly helps things, in the long run.” He walks away to go and take a beer to Aaron.