“What?” I replied, still staring at my thumb.
He went to the pay channels and navigated toward the list of available shows.
He laughed and leaned toward me, close but not close enough to touch me. “What do you want to watch?” he asked again, laughter in his tone. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you speechless.” He chuckled again. Then he stole my fork and took a bite of the cheesecake. “The chocolate was better,” he said, his mouth full.
I sat, still stunned, as he chose a movie and queued it up. He lifted his arm and motioned for me to move closer. “If you want to,” he said.
I wanted to. I so desperately wanted to.
I just didn’t know how.
Chapter 32
Clark
She didn’t even look like herself in that moment. It was almost like I’d cracked her open and left her wounded and vulnerable, and she didn’t know what to do with her emotions. She stared at my arm, which I still held up, waiting for her to slide into that space where I knew she would fit just fine. She stared at it like she didn’t know what to do with it, and then her brow creased. I lowered my arm and laid my hand on my thigh. It was all I could do to keep from reaching for her, but I didn’t. Instead, I waited, letting her take the lead.
She turned and adjusted pillows behind her so she could lean back against the headboard. “What are we watching?” she asked quietly as she stretched her legs out in front of her.
I handed her the remote. “You pick.” She took the remote from me, her hand shaking ever so slightly. “Do you feel like popcorn? I can go make some.”
“Sure,” she said, not really paying any attention to me as she scrolled through the movie listing.
I got up and went to microwave some popcorn, thinking about where I’d gone wrong. I’d opened my arms, hoping she would fall into them. Shelly wasn’t the type of woman that fell into any man’s arms, but fuck if I didn’t want her to fall into mine. I wanted her to fall into my arms and stay there.
My home phone rang and I looked at the handset on the counter. “Hello,” I said, when I saw MeeMaw’s number on the screen.
“Willy,” MeeMaw said breathlessly.
“MeeMaw? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” she said, sucking in deep gulps of air. “Your Aunt Edna made me take a walk around the block. There’s an octogenarian that lives two streets over that she has her eyes on. I’m old and winded, that’s all.”
“Oh.” The painful grip that had clenched my chest eased ever so slightly. “So, did you help her snag him?”
She made a pffft sound and I could see her in my mind’s eye waving a dismissive hand in the air. “The man was all money and no personality. She can do better.” She sniffed. “How’s it going there? Did you find Megan yet?”
“Not yet.”
MeeMaw made a quiet humming sound. “And Shelly?” she asked. “Shelly’s okay?”
“Shelly’s fine. We just got back from dinner. We’re about to watch a movie.”
“Is that what they’re calling it now? Watching a movie?” She made a curious little chuckling sound in her throat. “Netflix and chill?”
“Meemaw,” I chided gently, but I was smiling. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Well,” she said, “I just wanted to remind you to use a condom.” She snorted on a giggle, and then she full out laughed until she couldn’t catch her breath.
“MeeMaw!” I said, trying to sound like I was appalled at her gall. But I wasn’t appalled. On the day I’d turned sixte
en and gotten behind the wheel of my first car all alone, I’d found a box of condoms on the passenger seat. And every time the box—which I’d stuffed in my glove box, my face burning with embarrassment—had almost been empty, it had miraculously been replenished. MeeMaw wasn’t a prude, by any stretch of the imagination. We’d had condom talks more than once. “We’re not there yet, MeeMaw,” I informed her.
“Oh,” she said, sounding like she was deflating a little. “Well, when you are, check your glove box. I filled it up last week.”
“MeeMaw,” I said on a heavy wince, “I can buy my own condoms.”
“Whatever,” she replied. “I have to go. Edna wants to walk to the bingo hall tomorrow, so I need to rest up. We have a perfectly good car in the driveway. I can’t understand why she wants to walk.”