What She Didn't Know (What She 1)

“Stark. Empty.”

“I’ve heard it’s busy in the kind of place where you live.” I drummed my fingers on the bar top.

“I was referring to the state of my soul, Mason. Keep up.” She snapped her fingers at me.

“What went wrong over there?” I asked.

“Everything. Nothing.”

“Then why are you struggling?”

“I’ve seen too much. I’ve done too much. I don’t know if I can ever come back from it.”

“What have you seen? What have you done? Talk to me.”

“I’ve done too many bad things.” She stopped and shook her head. “This conversation just keeps going south.” She nudged me with her elbow. “How are you? How’s work?”

“My wife is missing. Work is fine.”

She laid her hand on my arm. “Lynn’s okay.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know.” She thumped her fist on her chest. “I’d feel it in here if she wasn’t okay. I know I would.”

“Do you think she’ll come home soon?” Please, let her come home soon.

She rocked her head back and forth like a metronome. “Maybe.”

“I just wish I knew why she left.”

“Shelly said she’s scared.”

I froze. “Scared of what?”

She shook her head. “She wouldn’t say. She said you had pushed Lynn into something she didn’t want, and now she’s sorting through it all in her head.”

I threw up my hands. “I didn’t push her into anything. She makes her own decisions.” I pointed to my chest. “If I had any say-so, she’d never have taken off in the first place.”

“Shelly says Lynn’s angry at you and doesn’t know what to do.”

“About what?” I looked around when I realized how much my loud voice had carried, and dropped it down to a vehement whisper. “Do about what? What are you talking about? Will someone please tell me?”

“That’s all Shelly told me, that you were trying to change Lynn’s life without her consent.”

“Shelly’s a bitch from hell,” I muttered.

She laughed. “No argument there.” She stared at me. “So I don’t have to be mad at you? You aren’t trying to change her life? You don’t want to make her get rid of her friends? You didn’t tell her that she had to stop talking to us?”

“Never,” I bit out. “Never. Ever.” They were all such a big part of her life. And my life too, for that matter. I wasn’t sure if Lynn could live without them. Not forever. She needed them. Hell, I needed them. And not just for fuck buddies.

“Good.” She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a folding wallet, taking some bills from it. She tossed them onto the bar top. I shoved them back toward her.

“I’ll cover it,” I said, tilting so I could take my wallet from my pocket.

“I’m a soldier. I can buy my own drinks. And yours too, asshole.”

She stood up. She was wearing jeans, a white t-shirt tucked into them, and heavy boots. She opened her arms to me. I smiled and pulled her to me, sad to tell her goodbye, but I assumed she was going to bed. “Can I come and see you tomorrow?” I asked quietly.