She laid a hand on her belly. “I’ve been really tired lately.”
“Have you seen a doctor?” I stepped toward her, ready to place my hand upon her forehead.
“I don’t do doctors,” she explained, shying away from my hand.
“Maybe you should.”
“Do you know why she drugged me?”
“It was meant for me. You drank my tea.”
“Oh.” She drew a circle on her belly with her fingertips. “Do you know what kind of medication she gave me?”
“She didn’t say.”
She began to gather her things.
“Where are you going?”
“I need to talk to Shelly.”
“About what?”
“Stuff,” she said absently. She already had her backpack over her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to drink the tea. I didn’t know. I hope I didn’t fuck anything up.”
Sometimes, following Ash’s train of thought was incredibly difficult.
Normally, I’d be trying to talk her into staying, but tonight, I wanted to take a look at the box of letters from Lynn, and I needed some privacy in order to do that.
“How long will you be at Shelly’s?” I asked.
“I have no idea.” For some reason, she wouldn’t look at me.
“Ash,” I said, touching her chin gently to make her look up at me. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“We all thought we could make it work. But none of us are willing to risk it. It’s the most precious thing in the world to Lynn. Well, aside from you.”
“What?” My head was spinning. None of the puzzle pieces aligned.
“I have to go,” she whispered. Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them back.
“You’ll come back, right?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat. “I don’t know,” she said again. “I’d like to come back, but…” She shook her head. “I just can’t be sure.” She stepped onto her tiptoes. “Will you kiss me goodbye?”
“I don’t like this,” I protested.
“Neither do I. Kiss me, Mason. Kiss me like it might be the last time.”
I pulled her to me and stared into her upturned face. She looked so much like Lynn, but she wasn’t Lynn. “I love you,” I said, and then I claimed her mouth with mine. Her chest rumbled against mine as she held back a sob. Her lips were firm but soft, and I kissed her like it might be the last time. I poured all my feelings into that kiss, and she kissed me back with abandon.
Finally, she pulled back, and I wiped the dark smudge stains from her tears from under her eyes with the pads of my thumbs. “I love you,” she said, and then she turned to walk out the door.
“Ash,” I called.
She turned back. “What?”
“If you should happen to see Lynn when you’re at Shelly’s, will you tell her I miss her, that I want her to come home?”