“Not yet.”
Not. Yet.
I stare down into my murky coffee and inhale sharply. What the fuck just happened? Am I seriously considering what I implied?
Propose to Candy and Jet. Ask them to be mine forever.
Not necessary. Too soon. Not a good idea.
… or is it? I know I love them. I know they love me. We don’t have to get married officially, with a Justice of the Peace and a crowd. I only wanna tell them they are the most important people in the world to me.
I can do that.
“Thank you, buddy.” I slap Edgar on the shoulder, making him yelp—unless it’s because he spilled more scalding coffee on his fingers and not because of my manly slap—and whistle as I return to the office.
Oh yeah, I can certainly do that.
***
I stay at work longer to finish the calculations I messed up because of my daydreaming and worrying. Then, before I clock out, I call my sis. Evie knows this girl, Amber, who makes awesome handmade jewelry. I have an idea about rings. Adjustable ones, so I don’t have to worry about them not fitting.
Evie squeals when she hears my voice, and then again when I reveal my plan to her.
“Oh my God, Joey!” Insert squeal. “I had no idea it was so serious already. That was fast!” Second squeal. “That’s so romantic, holy crap.” A sigh. And then, “Mom and Dad will have a coronary.”
I wince. “Ugh.”
“Or aren’t they coming to the party after all?” A hopeful note has crept into Evie’s voice.
“I haven’t talked to them yet.”
“Not yet? The party is in a few days.”
“I’m going to talk to them tomorrow.” I push hair out of my eyes. “Do you think your friend can get the rings ready by then?”
“I’ll ask and let you know. In any case…” Her voice softens. “I’m happy for you, Joey.”
A smile tugs at my mouth. “Thanks. Call me when you know, all right?”
“Sure thing.”
The sense of contentment lingers as I climb into my car and drive away. Yeah, I’m happy. Happier than I’ve ever been. Out in the open. No more secrets. No more hiding.
No longer feeling I’m failing by not conforming to expectations. No longer worried about what people will say.
The apartment is quiet when I get home, and I stand in the living room for a moment, letting it soak in. The quiet. The warmth. The peace. The sense of belonging. Of home.
Then I hear Jet’s voice rumbling from the bedroom, Candy’s reply like a bird warble. Tossing my keys in the bowl, shrugging off my jacket, I head that way. I’m grinning already at the thought of seeing them. I’ve missed them since morning.
I start at the realization. Fuck, I miss them every moment we spend apart. Not in an obsessive, can’t-breathe-without-them way, no. It’s a sweet sting of pain, realizing that nowhere else can I be as complete as when I am by their side.
My grin has faded to a smile by the time I reach the bedroom door, and I’m already toeing off my shoes. “Hey guys, you here? I told my parents I’ll swing by tomorrow to talk…”
Whoa.
“Come in, J,” Candy says.
I’m staring. Wait, am I asleep and dreaming? Is this one of those dreams that have me waking up gasping, my dick rock hard and my balls aching?