“Who told you that? Our parents? Listen to me, big guy. Wanting a guy, or a girl, or both, is okay. It’s okay to like both. Have you even Googled it? Sexuality. It’s not unusual to be bisexual, Joey. There’s absolutely nothing wrong about that, no matter what we were raised to believe. You should do what makes you happy.”
I nod, although she can’t see me. I bow my head, struggling to calm down my breathing. “I don’t want a guy, though. Only a girl.”
I don’t want Jet that way. I don’t.
I can’t. Even if he tastes like sin. Caring for him as a friend is one thing. Wanting him is quite another.
“Okay.” She sounds vaguely amused and sad at the same time. “That’s for you to tell, Joey. Just remember it’s okay to follow your desires. We’re adults. We can make our own decisions, as long as they don’t hurt others.”
She’s wise for her years, my sis. I sometimes forget she’s not the little girl with pigtails I used to tease anymore. She’s wiser than me, although that’s not that hard. She’s accepted herself.
I’m still struggling to get myself accepted by others.
“You haven’t even told me the name of this girl who’s got you all twisted up,” Evie teases. I can hear the smile in her voice. “If not Ellen, then who?”
“Candace.” I struggle to get my thoughts back in order. “Candy.”
Evie giggles. “Really?”
“Yeah. Why, what’s wrong with Candy?”
“Nothing. Ooh that’s so funny!”
“What is?”
“There’s this blog that’s making waves lately because of a story the blogger has been posting. It’s a story about two guys and a girl getting it on, and, get this… It’s called Candy Boys.”
I scowl at the dashboard of my car, which needs a good cleaning. Like my brain. “What’s that got to do with me?”
“Nothing, I told you, it’s just that… she calls the boys J-One and J-Two. J & J, like you and Jethro. And her name is Candy…” She giggles some more. “Oh man, I read some of the chapters, and they’re superhot.”
Right. That’s what you get when you call your baby sister for support. “Gotta go, sis. Have fun reading smut online.”
“We should get together sometime. I want to meet this Candy. Call me?”
“Sure.”
I disconnect and lean back in my seat, my mind churning. J-One and J-Two? And a girl called Candy. That’s a hell of a coincidence.
But it’s a coincidence, I tell myself. Nothing more. Candy would never write a running commentary on what’s going on with us.
Would she?
Cold sweat drips down my back. Not another scandal, fuck, no. But it’s not, right? Just because the names sort of fit doesn’t mean this has anything to do with us.
With me.
Candy Boys, huh? I’ll Google it later, just to see what it’s about. Paranoia is a hard weed to kill.
***
The bookshop is closed and locked. I frown, glancing at my watch. Didn’t realize I was so late. Thinking they must be at home, I drive there, but when I let myself in, the apartment is dark and quiet.
It seems empty, and there’s a strange pressure in my chest, a mixture of worry and yearning I don’t know what to do with.
“Jet?” I call out. “You here, dude?”
A noise from the kitchen draws my attention, and I wander toward it, shucking off my jacket and shoes on the way. I poke my head inside the door, and there he is, standing in the dark, his form outlined in silver from the faint glow of the summer sky coming through the window.