Broken Compass

“You’re better off not knowing all that much about me,” he rumbles.

Again clamming up, shutting me out.

Straightening, I swallow a sigh and turn to go back inside. “I thought you trusted me,” I whisper. “I trust you. I’ll never forget what you did for Nate, for us. I just want to get to know you more.”

“Syd.” He grips my arm, stopping me, tugging me back. His hand is warm, heat seeping into my bare skin where it touches me. “Ask me again,” he says.

“What?” I blink up at him.

“I said, ask me again.” His gaze is blazing, boring through me. “Ask me where my home is.”

“But you said… you said it’s where the compass points.”

“That’s where I came from, but my home isn’t there, Syd. Not anymore. It’s right here. And I won’t let any harm come to you, I swear.”

His words echo in my head as I sit in bio lab with West, the desperation in his voice, the honesty in his eyes.

Why would any harm come to me? What is he trying to protect me—us—from? I never thought Kash’s story was any different from that of most runaway youths. Parents who are either addicts, or violent, or too poor to care for their kids.

Or who never come back, like mine.

But what if it is a darker tale than those I’m used to hearing or reading about? What danger was he referring to? Who is he? Who is he hiding from?

Or am I imagining things, reading too much into words spoken in the dead of night, meant to somehow reassure me?

What does Nate know that I don’t?

“Syd. Eyes on the target. And… fire!”

“What are you talking about?” I blink at West who’s smirking at me, brandishing a pen in front of my face. “Hey. Put that down.”

Why am I thinking of Kash, when I should be focused on West, cherishing every second I get to spend with him?

Stupid, Syd.

“You were supposed to be taking notes about the experiment.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll just copy yours.” I stick my tongue out at him. “Like always.”

“Why am I not surprised?” He heaves a long-suffering sigh. Then his brow furrows. “You okay, Syd?”

Heat licks at my neck, in part because I was thinking of Kash, and in part because I like West’s attention and concern. It washes over me like sunshine.

“Yeah, I’m okay. You?”

He nods. Takes a deep breath. “How is everyone?”

“Fine. They’re fine. Kash found another student to tutor, and Nate got all excited yesterday because Kash brought home a syrupy Greek desert. He ate it all by himself. Good thing it was way too sweet for me.”

West smiles, turns his face away.

Once again we ignore the elephant in the room. Because since we left, Nate pretty much stopped talking to West, hanging out with him. He completely cut him out of his life.

It’s tearing West apart.

It’s not like he replaced him. He’s not much closer to Kash, or me. But with West he used to have that special relationship. They’d been friends for years when I first met them both, and now… it’s as if that special bond between them cracked. I know West is distraught. He can’t hide his sadness. Not from me.

Nate is much better at hiding everything he feels nowadays. He’s pulled on a mask, hardened it, glued it to his face, and won’t let me read him. Not anymore. He’s always making jokes and laughing things off and shying away from me like a wild animal