Broken Compass

“No. I don’t want to choose.”

I say nothing. I’m not sure what to say.

“I just… Listen, this is what I wanted to tell you. I…” She sighs. “I slept with West, too. Well, not exactly. We made out. I touched him, and he touched me.”

She looks up at me, her eyes defiant, her face flushed. Expecting my judgment, my anger. I should feel jealous, right? Angry and betrayed and possessive. I should be beating my chest like Tarzan and dragging her to my lair, marking her as mine.

And I do want her to be mine. But… I think of her with West, and I think of her with Nate, and the same desire wraps around me, making my ass clench and my dick harden.

I don’t even fucking understand myself.

“What about Nate?” My mouth’s dry. “Have you slept with him?”

“Nate… is more complicated. I told you.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you thinking?”

“That the guys need you. Nate and West.”

“And you? What about you?”

“I…. I need you too,” I admit.

She nods, her arms around me, her body pressed to mine. She’s warm and soft, and the wisps of the nightmare are fading. I’m tired and sleepy and content.

“I love you all,” she whispers, and a twinge of bittersweet pain goes through my chest, like a needle prick. “You all have a place in my heart. I’m not sure my heart would be whole without you all.”

I blink in the half-darkness. “So you want all of us? Like, on separate nights, like now?”

“No, I want all of you, together. No lies. No secrets. Is it possible?”

I dunno. Never thought it could be possible. Or desirable.

But despite the twinge of unease at the thought of her with West, the thought of all of us, together, in this bed is… damn exciting.

It feels right.

“I’m probably fucking nuts, girl, but I told you, I’d give anything for this.” I press my lips to her forehead, close my eyes, curled around her. “All this. Being with you. Having what you have with the guys. I expected nothing. This is so much more. I’ll take it.

”

Chapter Thirty-One

West

“I can’t,” Nate is saying, his jaw clenched, eyes stormy. “I just can’t fucking do it. This sucks ass.”

“You don’t give up after the first try, man.”

His sneakers are trailing dirt all over the carpet, and I itch to ask him to take them off, to go and bring the broom and gather it all up, but not while he’s sitting here, opening his heart to me.

Even if it has to do with Syd.

“I freaked out, West. You weren’t there. I was kissing her, and I totally lost it.”

“What did you do?”