“Nate. West.” Sydney stands up from the bed and turns to us, eyes wide and fearful. “He’s confused again.”
Shit.
I stare at Kash who’s lying so still and pallid under the covers. He looks so frail, so thin, almost transparent, and fighting a shiver. “You were right. We’re going to the ER. A doctor needs to see him.”
Kash seems half-asleep as we bundle him up in clean clothes, all long limbs and hot skin. He struggles briefly against my hold, then struggles against West, and only calms down when Sydney puts her arms around him.
It does something to me, the way he lets her in every time, as if his subconscious can never forget her even when he doesn’t know who she is anymore. It’s not jealousy. I’m not angry that he’d let her in but not us, it’s more… a connection between us.
Syd is our all, our true north. In his shoes, I’d probably react the same way, recognizing her for the important she is. The central, essential, and vital she is. Since the day I met her, she’s been hauling us along through our troubles and tragedies, this slip of a girl.
A girl abandoned by her mother, left alone to fend for herself, yet she never complained. She never asked for anything from us, only gave. Gave her all.
I’m so caught up in my thoughts, I barely remember the ride to the hospital. We’re told to sit and wait, so that’s what we do
This visit will cost an arm and a leg. We’re still paying my visit from a few months back, but the state Kash is in… there’s no way around it. So we sit in hard plastic chairs, Kash fast asleep, his head on my shoulder, his hand in Sydney’s, while West goes to find us coffee.
This night feels like a long dream. Not a nightmare, though Kash’s bouts of confusion, his frailty and pain make me wanna put my fist through a wall—but a dream nevertheless. Hazy, disjointed, with good parts, and fucking weird parts, with that strange disconnect from reality even as reality slams back into you every time you blink and find yourself in a hospital waiting room, the guy you thought gone forever by your side.
We have to tell the police, I think as Kash shifts, his silky hair, now dry, tickling my neck. Tell them he’s back. But he has to remember what happened to him first.
First, he has to get well, and get rid of this frightening confusion that’s got him in its claws.
A nurse comes to tell us we can go in, and I jostle Kash gently, hoping he won’t fight me this time.
Sydney wraps her arm around him, whispers to him, and he stares at her with a childlike wonder that makes my eyes fucking burn.
Damn.
He seems more awake this time, letting Sydney lead him by the hand into the examination room. West arrives with the coffee, which he promptly dumps into a trash container and follows us inside the room.
Although we explain we are Kash’s family, that we live with him, that he’s confused, the doctor asks us to stay back as she examines Kash, so I only get glimpses of pale, abused flesh and hear his sounds of pain.
When she’s done and turns around, she looks grim, and my stomach turns into lead. “I’m not sure I should be talking to you,” she says. “You shouldn’t even be in here, but if he has no other family, and you’ll take care of him…”
“We will,” West says, nodding. “He’s one of us.”
She gives him a quizzical look but doesn’t ask him what he means, who we’re supposed to be. “You said he’s confused?”
“He sometimes doesn’t know where he is, or who we are,” Sydney explains. “He has known us for years. We’re roommates. But he was gone for three months, and we don’t know what happened.”
“Is he withdrawn, drowsy, or difficult to wake?”
“All of that,” I say. “What’s wrong with him?”
“I’ll need to do a blood and a urine analysis. I’m suspecting infection. His temperature is up, and an infection, combined with dehydration, may be causing the confusion and other symptoms.”
I sag against the wall. “So he’ll be okay.”
“With antibiotics, serum and lots of rest… he should be. But first, the tests. Until we know what is happening inside his body, we can’t begin any treatment.”
Of course. West also looks relieved, and Syd starts toward Kash, sitting on the narrow examination bed and taking his hand.
The doctor observes this with a raised brow. “Are you his girlfriend?” she asks Sydney, who nods. “Okay. Then you can come with us for the tests, if you like. You two boys wait here.”
“Boys?” I mutter as the doctor coaxes Kash off the bed and to his feet.
He gives her a bewildered look that has my insides twisting with fear again, despite the doc’s reassurances, and he grips Sydney’s hand like it’s his lifeline. He stumbles as the doctor releases him.